


Pretty Much

by PocketMartin



Series: Pretty Much Verse [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-23
Updated: 2013-04-19
Packaged: 2017-12-03 09:03:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 29,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/696584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PocketMartin/pseuds/PocketMartin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean sees a classmate walking out in the freezing weather and feels bad not offering a ride. So he does, and he changes everything.  There is mainly just a lot a unresolved sexual tension and a lot of fluff! *Castiel pov one-shot is separate if you're looking for it</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What's his name?

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Note: This is set in New England (or the Northeast of USA) mainly because it has been stupidly cold lately. Dean and Cas are Juniors and Sam is in 8th grade.

The snow drifted down quickly as Dean carefully maneuvered through the drab January streets. Thankfully, it was already Thursday and he only had one more day left before the weekend. He just wanted to get home though so he could warm up.

The impala was still pretty cold, but he had the heat on high, listening to the legos he and Sam jammed in there a while back and some AC/DC. It was a rather pleasant day, even with the below freezing temperatures. Dean got out of school relatively early, of course he waited a bit to leave so that he wouldn't have to sit in the school traffic though; he didn't want to risk getting in any accident, even just a minor fender bender, with his baby. Sam usually went home with him, but was going over Jess' house today. Dean obviously bothered Sam about that a lot, but he's the older brother, it's what he does.

He makes a turn slowly, as to not slip, and notices someone walking. They look cold. They also look kinda like that smart kid in Dean's English class. What was his name? Cam? Cas...Cas-something...

Dean felt pity. It was freezing out and there was already a couple inches of snow on the ground and none of the side-walks were quite clear yet. So he pulled up next to him and rolled down the passenger side window, leaning over to call to...Cas....he was pretty sure it was Cas...

"Uh, hey." That was smooth, Dean thought to himself. Cas looked a bit confused and stunned. Tilting his head and leaning down to speak through the window, Cas replied, "Hello, is something wrong?" Formal as always. Such a strange kid, Dean thought.

"Um, well...it’s cold out..." Dean wanted to offer a ride to the poor kid, but didn't really know him, how do you ask someone that?

"Yes."

"Do you...do you want a ride or something?"

"No, it's okay." Cas straightened his back and appeared to prepare to start walking again.

"No, you want a ride. It's freezing out, you're gonna get a cold." Dean said firmly. "Come on, lemme give you a ride. How far away do you live?" Dean unlocked the door so Cas could get in. But he didn't. Cas just looked confused again.

"It's okay, it's only a mile or so from here."

"Please, Cas? You're making me feel cold just looking at you." Cas seemed startled.

"Okay." Cas finally got in the car, putting his backpack by his feet and put the window back up to keep the heat in. "You called me Cas." Cas stated. It wasn't a question but Cas seemed to want an answer.

"Ya, well you're it is your name right? You know my name?" Dean smiled at Cas' cute innocence. He noticed there was still snow in his dark hair, and Dean's heart jumped a little.

"Yes, Dean. I know your name." Cas chuckled putting on his seat belt, and Dean pulled away from the curb.

"Okay Cas, where to from here?"

The drive to Cas' house was pretty far, and Dean was glad he picked him up; Cas would have frozen being outside this long. They just made some small talk about class and the weather and stuff, but it was comfortable.

When Dean pulled into Cas' driveway, Cas looked at Dean, smiled, and said, "Thank you, Dean. You are very kind."

Dean's heart melted. This guy had such an effect on Dean, he didn't even understand why he felt this way. "Any time, Cas." Dean replied, hoping Cas didn't notice his slight blush.

Dean drove away, hoping to see Cas in more than just English class.


	2. See ya 'round

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Castiel become fast friends and surprise everyone. But could there be something else brewing?

The next day, Dean strolled into English class second period looking for that adorable mop of black hair. (First period was Math with Mr. Alastair and that class was just torture and Dean needed a pick-me-up). And there he was. Sitting at his usual desk reading something. Dean walked over and bent over to see the cover of the book without disturbing Cas. However, Dean was right in Cas’ line of sight and Cas noticed the suddenly close face.

“Dean.” Cas said, a tad surprised and with wide eyes.

“Hey Cas. Good book?” Dean casually replied.

“Uh…yes. Yes….yes it’s good.” Dean smirked at his stuttering. Was Dean talking to him so surprising? Dean sat down next to him. He would mess up where everyone usually sat but he didn’t care.

“Well, it’s good to see that you survived the freezing temperatures yesterday.”

“You did drive me home, Dean.” Cas said, now with his usual formalness again.

“Ya but walking was pretty stupid, so I wasn’t sure what other stupid things you might do.” Cas flushed slightly, looking like he wanted to hide his face in his book again but Mrs. Harvelle spoke up.

“Class has begun. Quiet down everyone, even you Castiel.” The class died down so they could continue learning about The Great Gatsby. Well, everyone but Dean who sat quietly, repeating the name ‘Castiel’ over and over in his head so he would never forget it.

***

Most people were rather surprised by their sudden friendship. They clicked so well. They whispered through most of English class. Dean elbowed Cas every once and a while to whisper some silly pun he made about the characters. Cas would chuckle but keep his head low so he wouldn’t get caught. They left class together, only to separate to go to their own lockers which were in different parts of the school.  
***

Sam had texted Dean saying he was already waiting by the impala and Dean should 'hurry his ass up, it's cold out here!', as Sam put it. Dean left through the front doors, and who should he see but Cas standing outside, appearing to be waiting for a ride.

"Heya Cas. Waiting for someone?" Dean said, Sam could wait by the car for another minute.

"Yes, my brother Gabriel is picking me up, but he's running late."

"Well you wanna ride with me and Sammy? You don't live that far away from us." Dean was lying. It was still about a 3 minute drive from Cas’ house to his, but he didn’t want to tell Cas that.

"Gabriel will be coming anyway, I'll just wait."

"Well wait inside. Do you not understand that the flu is a real thing? It's not an urban legend."

"It's nice out Dean. It's not that cold."

"You're making me cold just lookin' at you!" 

"You've said that before."

"I know, because you're stupid. Take my scarf, at least. Gotta keep you warm somehow. I'd feel bad if you got sick." He undid the blue scarf he had around his neck, blushing at the fact that Cas remembered what Dean had said the other day when they first met. The sudden coldness started to seep in under his jacket, but he'd be in the warmth soon enough. Cas didn't take it though.

"So goddamn stubborn." Dean mumbled under his breath and looped the scarf around Cas' neck once. This pulled Cas a bit closer, which helped Dean to get the scarf over Cas' head a second time. However, when Dean was done, he looked at Cas. They were much closer now, and Dean could see how bright Cas' eyes were and how they reflected the light shining off the snow. Dean and Cas were starring for a while until they heard someone walk by and they were brought out of their trance. Dean's hands had still been on Cas' shoulders from tying the scarf, so he quickly retracted them.

"Stay warm, stupid face." Dean said kindly, smiling at Cas, as he started to leave.

"You...stay warm....assbutt!" Cas called after Dean. Dean burst out laughing, tossing his head back. He had to stop walking or else he would have tripped. Cas smiled and chuckled to himself, not exactly sure what was so funny, but Dean's smile was so bright, he couldn't help but at least smile. When Dean calmed himself down enough he called back to Cas, "See ya 'round Cas!" and he waved, headed towards his car. Cas smiled and waved back "See ya 'round Dean!" Cas mimicked.

***

Cas watched Dean leave. Dean seemed to talk with a small person, must be his younger brother Sam, and then drove off. The scarf around his neck was still rather warm from when Dean had worn it, and it smelled just like him. Cas pressed his face deeper into the soft cotton material, to help keep his nose warm and to take in the smell of Dean. It was so pleasant and relaxing, especially on a cold day like this. 

It was only about a minute after Dean left that Cas saw Gabriel's small silver car pull up. He hopped in and put on his seatbelt, exchanging pleasantries with Gabriel but Gabriel interrupted him with, "Where's that scarf from? I don't remember you having that before? Is it from some girl I don't know about?' Gabriel said with an obvious implication in his voice. Castiel blushed a little, thinking about how he felt about Dean and what Gabriel was saying. "OH! It is a girl then!"

"Huh? What? What do you mean? It's not from a girl. It's just from my… friend, Dean." Cas tried to talk with no inflection in his voice in fear what Gabriel would decipher.

"Dean, huh?" Gabriel said, driving away from the school. Cas wished he hadn't started driving, because if they were still parked, he could escape the soon-to-be-very-awkward car ride with Gabriel.

“Yes, Gabriel. We met yesterday and he just saw me waiting out here for you and didn’t want me to get cold.” Cas didn’t say how Dean had heroically saved him from the cold when they met, or how Dean sat close to him in class so he could mumble hilarious jokes that only Cas can hear, or how when they walked through the crowded halls during passing, their hands accidentally brushed and it made Cas’ heart leap into his throat, or how when Dean touches him at all, he can’t help but get lost in his beautiful green eyes. Cas couldn’t say anything to Gabriel. Once he said it out loud and recognized his crush for Dean, he feared it might ruin their friendship. Dean has been his only real, close friend in what seemed like forever, and he didn’t want to do something stupid and ruin what they have. So Cas changed the topic and asked how Gabriel is doing in college. College is a safe topic, and by safe topic, he means a topic that isn’t about him.

***

Dean finished his conversation with Cas, heading towards the impala, still with a smile on his face. He sees Sam leaning on the passenger side door giving him this look.

"Who was that?" Sam asks with an interesting tone that Dean can't quite place.

"My friend Cas." Dean moves to open the door but Sam is still looking at him with a weird face. "What?"

"Quite a friend you got there. Gave him your scarf."

"Ya. He was cold. So what?"

"Mmmhmmm." There's that weird tone again.

"What Sammy? Spit it out."

"Dean likes Caaaaaas, Dean likes Caaaaaaas, Dean likes Caaaaaas!"

"Geez Sammy, what are you five?" Dean said, sounding a bit defensive.

"What? When have you ever been that nice to anyone? You were barely that chivalrous to the girls you dated, and now you stand really close, stare at each other, and give him your scarf.” Sam spoke seriously but in a lighthearted, almost teasing, way. Dean knew he was right, but he would never say that; one, because he didn't want to admit Sam was right, and two, because he knew Cas could never like a guy like him. Dean was too rough around the edges, so to speak. Cas wouldn't want that, no way.

So, Dean just pretended to ignore what Sam was saying and got into the impala. He just wanted to get home and eat some pie. Nothing is better than pie after a day like this. Then again, pie is good for any day.


	3. Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas meets Dean's friends but they have a bit of a fight...

Dean and Cas didn’t see each other at all over the weekend, and since their classes cycle through each day, they didn’t have English class on Monday at all. Dean was pretty bummed about not getting to hang out with Cas at all even though they only just met a few days ago. However, his dull day brightened when he caught sight of Cas headed towards the cafeteria. They must have the same lunch today. Dean got irrationally happy until he saw Cas take a turn in the direction of the library instead.

‘But wait, all the teachers are strict about letting students just roam around the halls and they wouldn’t just let a student go the library by themselves…’ Dean thought to himself. So he decided to head over to Cas and see what’s up.

“Hey! Cas!” Dean said, getting his attention. Cas looked over with a confused face and titled his head. “You have this lunch right? Come on!” Dean stated, swinging an arm over Cas’ shoulder and making him walk with him.

“Dean, I wanted to go study in the library.”

“So? Lunch period is my favorite class.” Dean smirked. “You can sit with me and my friends if you want.” Dean didn’t wait for Cas to answer and just dragged him along to lunch with him (in a friendly way of course).

Dean sat down at his usual table next to Ash and had Cas sit down next to him, between him and Jo. Nobody was really surprised by the new comer to their table and he fit right in with everyone. 

***

Castiel was a simple addition to Dean’s group of friend’s and everyone liked him. He began sitting at lunch with them regularly and could talk to anyone, even though he was the quietest of the group. Everyone was pretty loud and crazy but Cas didn’t mind. His nickname that Dean gave him caught on as well and everyone called him Cas, except for the rare times when they said Castiel. It was great.

When they hung out after school, they invited Cas without a second thought. Cas was so happy. He had friends before but never a huge group like this, where he really felt like he fit in. They would all go bowling or out for hot chocolate after school and soon Castiel’s Facebook page was filled with all the pictures that Jo took when they all went out, even though it had only been a bit over a month.

***

It was late February and they had gotten 4 inches of snow overnight. Everyone was praying for a snow day but, sadly, it never came. They had to go to school; there wasn’t even a delay.

Nobody really wanted to be in school, not even the teachers. So when the final bell rang, everyone rushed out of the school. Dean, Ash, Castiel, Sam, Jo, Jess, and Anna, Cas’ younger sister who was a freshman, were all leaving school and it was still snowing a bit. That’s when Sam had a snowball hit the back of his head.

“Dean! What the heck!” Sam yelled.

“What? That wasn’t…” But Dean didn’t get to finish his sentence because the perpetrator struck again, and Dean got a snowball right in his face. Everyone laughed at Dean’s face as Dean tried to strike back at Ash who threw the first snowball. But, Ash ducked out of the way, excepting it and Dean almost hit Jess. Jess had to retaliate and tried to throw one at Dean but was a horrible shot and hit Anna in the side. Soon everyone had joined in but Castiel, ever stoic and mature.

“Geez Spock, loosen up! Have some fun!” Dean called over to Cas, jogging up to his side.

“Spock?” Cas tilted his head in confusion.

“Yeah, from Star Trek. Please tell me you’ve seen Star Trek.”

“Sorry, Dean, but I have never heard of Star Trek.” Cas really did look sorry, but Dean was just surprised that Cas hadn’t even ever heard of it.

“What! That’s just wrong! We have to fix that. Why don’t you come over some time and we can watch some episodes. I got the first 2 seasons on DVD as a Christmas present a year or two ago.”

“Okay, I guess…” If Cas had more to say, they may never know because Ash, Sam, Jess, Jo, and Anna had ganged up and had bombarded the pair with snowballs. This started a whole new snowball fight that was more of a battle than anything else. Cas did join in then; he had to defend himself!

After the war was over and everyone was equally exhausted and wet from the snow, they went their separate ways, sharing farewells. Dean and Cas stayed back just a little longer than everyone else so that they could make plans for a Star Trek marathon to get Cas properly educated.

“Wanna come over on…Saturday maybe? We can spend the day watching episodes if you want.” Dean offered.

“I am free on Saturday, so that should work out fine. When should I come over? And what is your address?”

The boys swapped information and then Dean left Cas standing there. Cas was going to wait to be picked up as usual, refusing Dean’s offer of a ride. Dean jogged off towards the impala and Sam and Jess.

When he got to the car, the two shared a look and then glanced at Dean.

“What?” Dean said defensively as he unlocked the car.

“Oh nothing.” Jess said with a sing-song-y tone in her voice.

“What?” Dean repeated, more aggravated now. He got in as Sam and Jess slid in the back.

“So, Cas is cool.” Jess had a weird tone again in her voice.

“Yeah, he’s cool.” Dean replied, a smile tugging at his mouth.

“Very cool.”

“Yeah.” ‘What was she getting at?’ Dean thought to himself. Geez girls were confusing sometimes. However, they stopped the conversation there and she and Sam started up something else about their biology project.


	4. The Trap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Star Trek Saturday with Dean and Cas. But of course, younger brothers ruin everything. Or do they?

It's a freezing March Saturday and the snow was falling hard. John had left Dean in charge of keeping the fire in the fireplace going to help heat the house while he and Mary were out. However, it needed more wood, so Dean pulled on his boots to go get some wood from the pile outside. 

Cas was supposed to be coming over in a bit to watch Star Trek since he said he's never even heard of it. They made the plans a little while back, and ever since then, Sam has been bugging Dean. He keeps saying it’s a ‘date’, but Dean does not have a crush on Cas. Impossible.

Dean came back to the house, knocking the snow off his boots with an arm full of wood. He awkwardly opened the slider door, trying not to drop any wood when he heard it. 

There are a crash, a splash of water, and a yell. Worried it was Sam, Dean dropped the wood by the door, and ran towards the sounds, not bothering to take off his dirty boots.

He turned the corner and saw Sam standing with the front door open looking at a wet Castiel with a bucket on his head. Sam was laughing.

"What the...?" Dean was confused.

"Just a bit of a prank, Dean, no need to look so flabbergasted." Sam said with a strange smile.

Cas was still standing just outside the door, awkwardly taking the bucket off his head, and began shivering from being wet and cold.

Ho-ly. Crap. Damn was Cas attractive. Water dripped from his dark hair and off his clothes into a puddle on the front porch. Cas held out the bucket for Sam to take back. Cas did not look happy. He was frowning a bit at the coldness and started rubbing his arms to get warm.

"Oh, uh...um...Cas, come in. You're making me cold just lookin' at you." Dean said, ushering him in. Cas flashed him a smile, remembering the other times Dean has said this to him. "Next time, Sam, don't play your stupid pranks in the middle of winter. Bitch."

"Jerk." Sam pouted because Dean was just ruining his fun. Well, he mock-pouted. His plan was falling into place; Dean would go warm up Cas and then they would get together. Or something along those lines. Give him a break, Sam's new to romance.

Dean guided a shivering Castiel into the living room and sat him right in front of the fire. Dean, suddenly remembering the wood he dropped by the door, went to get it to help make the fire even bigger, and he left his boots where the wood had been so his mom wouldn't be too mad. However, when he came back in and saw Cas still shaking, he got worried. He put the wood down next to the fireplace and said, "This isn't working fast enough." Cas looked up at him and tilted his head. "You need to get out of you wet clothes. Do you want to take a warm shower and borrow some of my clothes while I put yours in the dryer?"

"Yes please. Thank you Dean." Cas said, standing up and following Dean upstairs to the bathroom.

Dean showed Cas where is room was, where the towels were, and how the shower worked really quickly, and waited a second for Cas to get undressed and hand him his wet clothes. Dean tossed Cas' wet clothes in the dryer, double checking the pockets out of habit to make sure there was nothing that would get damaged from the dryer. Then he went back to his room to lay out some clothes for him; just a pair of sweats, a faded AC/DC t-shirt and a pair of warm socks. He then went downstairs to heat some water for hot chocolate to help warm up Cas. While the water was on, Dean went back upstairs to tell Cas he left clothes out for him so he didn't have to wait to put on his clothes. When he reached the top of the stairs, he heard the water turn off, perfect timing, now Cas would hear him easier. He stepped in front of the door to knock lightly before Cas came out. But life is never that easy is it? Cas opened the door right as Dean was about to knock. He was wet and only wearing a towel around his waist. Dean couldn't help but steal a peek at Cas.

"Do you need something, Dean?" Cas asked.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah! I...I left you some...some clothes. On my bed. For you." Real smooth Dean.

"Thank you." Cas stepped around Dean, headed towards Dean's room to change. Dean had to look at the glistening muscles of Cas' back. He may not be that muscle-y, but Cas sure was fit. After Cas closed the door, Dean remembered what else he had to tell Cas.

"Oh, and Cas?"

"Yes Dean?"

"I'm gonna make some hot cocoa, you want some?"

"Yes, thank you Dean." Dean smiled and headed back downstairs to finish making the cocoa. They could drink it while watching Star Trek.

Cas came downstairs in Dean's clothes. The sweatpants were a bit baggy on Castiel's smaller frame and the shirt just a bit too long since he was shorter than Dean. Dean's heart skipped a beat but he tried to pull himself back to reality and held out a mug of cocoa to Cas.

"The Man Trap?" Dean said as Cas accepted the mug carefully.

"What?" Cas tilted his head in confusion.

"The Man Trap." Dean repeated, "It's the name of the first episode of Star Trek."

"Oh, okay then." Cas smiled and they headed to the TV room so they could watch it on the DVD player. Dean popped in the disc and sat down on the couch with Cas, who was sipping his hot chocolate. 

5 minutes into the episode, Cas scooted closer to Dean. Dean thought it was just because Cas was cold, so he paused the episode and got up to fetch a blanket.

"Where are you going?" Cas asked.

"Gonna get a blanket. You're still pretty cold, right." It wasn't a question. Cas still looked pretty darn cold. So he hopped up the stairs and not a minute later came back down with a blue blanket.

"You really like blue don't you." Cas stated.

"Hmm?"

"Blue scarf, blue blanket..."

"Well, I guess blue is my favorite color." Dean said as he sat back down, closer to Cas this time, and draped the blanket across their legs. He grabbed the remote to unpause the TV, and draped his arm across the back of the couch.

Cas was feeling much warmer but wished that Dean would put his arm around his shoulders instead of behind him. So, he fake shivered a bit and leaned a bit closer to Dean.

"You still cold?" Dean said quietly, under the volume of the TV. Cas nodded a bit guiltily for using his coldness to get closer to Dean. But Dean just wrapped his arm around Cas' shoulders and softly rubbed his arm to help him warm up. 

Cas enjoyed the episode and his cocoa much more now that he was pressed tightly against Dean's right side. He could smell the soap Dean used, the same soap that Cas used a bit of while he was in the shower.

Dean finished his hot chocolate rather quickly and put down his mug on the side table, catching a glimpse of Cas' face. He looked so peaceful and comfortable. Dean leaned forward a bit to whisper (so he could still hear the TV), "Feeling better Cas? Warmer?"

Cas snuggled up tighter to Dean and replied with a simple hum of content.

Since Dean had leaned forward a bit, he could smell Cas and realized that Cas must have had used his axe shampoo when he was in the shower. It was intoxicating. It was kind of like Cas was his boyfriend. He was wearing his clothes, using his shampoo, and snuggling on the couch. It's a dream come true.

***

They were almost finished with The Naked Time (episode 4) when they heard the front door open.

“We’re back!” Called Mary, “Good to see the house still standing.” She teased as she came over towards the cuddling pair. “You look comfy.”

“Hi mom, and you should tell Sam not to play stupid pranks in the middle of winter. Cas was freezing.” Dean replied a little defensively as he took his arm off Cas and put it behind him on the couch.

“I’ll talk to him.” She pats Dean on the head before going upstairs. John comes in holding a plastic bag, probably filled with leftovers from their lunch. Dean, upon hearing his dad enter the house, quickly retracted his arm and scooted a bit away from Castiel. Cas was sad at the loss of contact and wondered why Dean did that just because his dad came in.

“Hey boys,” John greeted, and he slightly emphasized the ‘boys’ in that greeting and that’s when Cas got it. Mr. Winchester must be homophobic.

“Hey Dad.”

“Hello Mr. Winchester.” The boys replied, not really taking their eyes away from the TV. When John left the room to go into the kitchen, Cas saw Dean physically relax, just noticing now that he was really tense. Cas wanted to comfort him but didn’t know how.

***

They finished the episode and watched one more before Cas had to get home for dinner. Dean gave Cas back his, now dry, clothes but Cas was in a bit of a rush and didn’t have time to change out of Dean’s.

After Dean and Cas said goodbye, Dean closed the door and turned around to his see his mom picking up their discarded hot cocoa mugs.

“I got that mom, it’s fine.” 

“It’s alright dear.” Mary just smiled and looked at Dean. “So, you two seemed to have a lot of fun together.”

Dean was a bit worried at when his mother meant exactly and almost stuttered giving a reply. “Yeah, he’s cool. I mean he didn’t know Star Trek before today but he seemed to like it. Now he’ll get more of my jokes!” Dean rambled a bit, but his mother only smiled.

“Okay, Dean.” She gave Dean a look at started walking towards the kitchen but turned her head before saying, “I like him too.” She left Dean standing in the living room.

And Dean stands there, a bit confused, and a bit dazed, wondering how this day might have gone if not for Sam’s stupid prank. And he’d never admit it, but that night, he went to bed thinking about just how perfectly Cas fit into his side.


	5. Cookies and Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel is absent one day and it throws Dean off. Why was Cas absent? Well, it's a lot more than 'just being sick', so Dean makes it his duty to find out what's wrong with Cas and how to fix it.

It was a drab, rainy April day and Dean was just glad they had English today so he could joke around with Cas. But when he got there, Cas was nowhere to be seen.

'Maybe he’s just late…but when is he ever late to class…?' Dean thought to himself. So he waited for the seat next to him to get filled, but it never did. Mrs. Harvelle quieted down the class and for once, she wasn’t looking in Dean’s general direction.

Dean slouched in his seat and kept his hilarious comments to himself. He actually wrote down notes because he knows that Cas always does, so he wanted to make sure Cas wouldn’t miss anything. Cas had been absent a day or two before they really became friends, but Dean never realized how much Cas had changed things since they met.

The day went by pretty normally, but it was horribly dull. Dean blamed it on the dreary weather.

When school came to an end, Dean jogged out to the impala. Sam was, as per usual, already waiting for him.

“Thank god I don’t have to wait for you today. This rain stinks.” Sam groaned as Dean unlocked the car.

“Well Cas isn’t here, so…” and Dean left it at that. Sam would understand. Or not.

“Yeah, he’s the sun on your rainy days.” Sam said with a dreamy voice, teasing.

“Shut up, bitch.”

“Jerk.”

The drive home was generally normal after that, and so was the rest of the day. Dean thought of texting or calling Cas to see if he was sick or something but decided against it. It’s not like he was worried or anything. Dean sat with his math book open, pretending to study, but was really just thinking, 'Should I text him or shouldn’t I?'

He was snapped out of his trace however when he heard knocking at his door. “Yeah, come in.” Dean called.

“Dean, you left your cell phone downstairs, and a ‘Castiel’ is looking for you.” Mary stood in the doorway with his phone is her hand, extended towards Dean. Dean was about to jump up and race to his phone but quickly stopped himself. He got up and thanked his mom as he took his phone. She left his room with a simple “You’re welcome”.

“Hey Cas. You missed school today. You sick or something?” Dean was smiling, glad to talk to Cas, and glad to not have had to make the decision to call him.

“Hello Dean. And yes, I was…not well today. I was wondering if you could tell me what we did in English class today.”

“Yeah, sure. I actually took notes if you just want to copy them. I could drop them off if you want.” Dean replied.

“No! No no, it’s fine” Cas sounded worried.

“You won’t get me sick if that’s what you’re worried about.” Dean joked, “If you want I can come over in a hazmat suit.” Cas chuckled, which made Dean smile.

“I can just copy them tomorrow in school. I should be…well…by then. We didn’t have homework did we?”

“Okay. And yeah, we just had to read…uh…hold on.” Dean put down his phone and searched through his bag. He knew he wrote down the pages somewhere. “Aha! Found it! We have to read 20 pages, which should be nothing for you.”

“Thank you, Dean. I will see you tomorrow.”

“See ya tomorrow.” The call ended but Dean stared at his phone. Cas didn’t sound right. Something was wrong but he didn’t know what. He’ll ask tomorrow. Maybe someone died in his family. What if he’s dying from something terminal? What if he is actually being held hostage somewhere? Dean realized he was being extremely paranoid so he calmed down his brain and went back to studying, actually studying.

***

The next day, Cas found Dean at his locker. “Good Morning, Dean. I was wondering if I could borrow your English notes so I could copy them before class.”

“Yeah sure.” Dean rummaged around in his locker to find the right notebook and handed it to Cas.

“Thank you.” Cas looked like he was about to leave, but Dean had to stop him; he needed to know what was up with Cas.

“Wait, Cas. Geez do I smell bad? I showered this morning I swear.” Dean joked and Cas gave him a tired smile. “What’s up?”

“Nothing.” Cas said, giving Dean a slightly confused look.

“No, I mean, well yesterday, you didn’t…you seemed off.”

“Well, I was sick.”

“No, I mean off like something else. Like something was bothering you?” Dean questioned. He didn’t want to force Cas to talk to him, but he wanted to make sure he all right.

“Oh. I…uh…I was just worried…about missing classes.” Cas looked down like he was ashamed.

“Oh. Okay then.” Dean wasn’t convinced, but obviously, Cas did not want to talk. “See ya in class then?”

“See ya in class.” Cas mimicked, and he walked away.

Dean was going to find out what was really bothering Cas, no matter what. He stalked the halls looking for Anna. Anna was Cas’ younger sister, and, although they’ve never really talked, she ought to know what’s bothering Cas. So he walked up and down the halls but couldn’t find her. He did find Sam though, and they were in the same class so he might know where she was.

“Hiya Sammy, do you know where Anna is? Anna Novak?”

“Yeah, she’s down there at her locker, why?”

“Nothing, thanks bro.” Dean ruffled Sam’s hair and left. He saw Anna right where Sam said she’d be and walked up to her.

“Hey what’s wrong with your brother?” She was surprised by his sudden appearance and almost dropped her books but composed herself.

“Which one?” She laughed.

“Which one do you think? Cas.”

“Oh…he was sick.”

“No. what’s bothering him?”

“What do you mean?” Anna gave him a strange look.

“Something is obviously bothering him, and he won’t tell me. It’s not rocket science.”

“Oh…I dunno. I mean…”

“What? Tell me!” Dean pressed. He needed answers.

“Well, Castiel and Dad got in another fight 2 days ago. I mean, it was more of: Dad yelling at Cas and Cas just taking it. That usually bugs him for a couple days. I’m not sure why or what they fight about, but he’s pretty touchy for a while after.”

“Okay, thanks Anna. See ya!” Dean sighed with relief. So it wasn’t anything too serious. Fighting wasn’t that bad. But why did Cas take it so harshly? Dean would just have to wait for English class to ask.

***

“So you got in a fight, whatever, things pass.” Dean greeted Cas, who was already seated in his usual spot in class.

“What?” Cas was taken aback.

“Anna told me. Wanna talk about it?”

“Oh. No.” Cas went back to writing. Upon inspection, he was just finishing copy the notes.

“Come on, it’s obviously bothering you. Just talk to me.”

“Dean, I said no.” Cas sounded serious. So Dean decided to back off. A little.

“If you tell me, my mom could bake us cookies. And they will be the best chocolate chip cookies you will ever taste.”

“I…fine Dean. Fine. But, after school?”

“After school.” Dean agreed. Now he just had to wait a couple hours.

***

“Hey Cas!” Dean called across the hall. “Come on, my house! Cookies!” Dean was like an excitable puppy and Cas just smiled at him.

“Okay Dean. Let’s go.” Cas closed his locker and slung his backpack onto his shoulder.

When they got to the impala, Sam looked from Dean to Cas and Dean gave Sam a look. “Backseat today Sammy. Cas is comin home with us.”

“Yeah, I figured.” The three boys piled into the car and drove home.

“Hey boys!” Mary called from the kitchen.

“Hey mom!” Sam replied, as he went upstairs to do homework, nerd.

“Hey mom, Cas is here.”

“Hello Mrs. Winchester.” The pair met her in the kitchen and put down their bags.

“Hello Castiel.” Mary smiled at him. “You boys need anything?”

“Can we have some of your delicious chocolate chip cookies?” Dean asked with puppy dog eyes.

“Yup.” She replied as she wrote something down on the shopping list. Then, she pulled out a giant cookbook from one of the cupboards. “Here you go, page 54.”

“Wait, what?” Dean said quizzically.

“If you want them, you need to make them. I have to go out; I do have errands to run.”

“But you make them best.” Dean begged.

“Well now you can too.” She kissed Dean’s head and left the kitchen. “All the ingredients should be here. Don’t make a mess!” She called back before she closed the front door.

“Hope you don’t mind talking while cooking Cas,” Dean said, flipping through flour covered pages.

“Not at all. What do we need?”

Dean listed the ingredients and they gathered everything, putting it all on the table. Following the instructions, they mixed the dry ingredients in one bowl and the wet ones in the other. While stirring their own bowls, Dean brought up the reason for Cas coming over.

“So what’s bothering you?”

“Huh? Oh, right.” Cas looked down at the mixture. “Should we mix these together yet?”

“Don’t avoid the question Cas.” Dean stopped stirring and looked at Cas, who refused to look back at him.

“Fine. My dad and I fought. Again.”

“And? What happened?”

“He yelled at me.”

“Why?” Dean was getting a little irritated, but if Cas was going to talk, he wasn’t going to push him too much.

“Because Dean.” Cas sighed and then mumbled something.

“What? Come on Cas.”

“Because I’m…you know.” Cas focused on stirring. But before Dean could say anything else, Cas blurted out, “Because I’m gay okay. I’m gay. That’s why.” Cas looked angry and worried. 'Did he think I would hate him for being gay or something?' Dean became worried himself. 'I’m his friend. How could he think that of me!' Dean realized he should probably say something out loud because Cas just looked more worried and refused to look up.

“Okay.”

“What?” Cas whipped his head up and looked at Dean.

“Okay.” Dean repeated. “I don’t care that you’re gay Cas. Like I could hate someone for that.”

“Wait what?” Cas was stunned.

“Did you not know? Cas I’m bi.”

“Oh.”

“It’s not really a secret. My dad doesn’t like it either. When I told my parents, my mom was really cool with it but my dad was just kinda mad because I was supposed to be “the man of the family” or something like that. I mean he came around now that he understands I’m still the same person. But I can tell he doesn’t really like it.”

“Oh.” Cas just stared at Dean as Dean went back to stirring. So Cas did the same. However, there was a slightly awkward silence that controlled the room. Cas just stared down at his mixing bowl again until he was blinded with a sudden cloud of flour. He looked up at Dean, who was innocently stirring.

“What? Is something wrong Cas?” Dean innocently said, looking at Cas, whose face was covered in flour. He was trying not to smile.

“Oh nothing, Dean. I just think something might be wrong with the flour. Perhaps you should take a look.” Cas said as he put his hand into the bag of flour and threw it at Dean. Dean retaliated by putting a flour handprint in the middle of Cas’ shirt.

“Looks like you got some flour on you Cas. Geez, you’re so messy.”

“Thank you for pointing that out, Dean. You’re so sweet.” Cas threw a handful of sugar at Dean.

“God Cas! That pun was egg-cellent!” Dean joked at he cracked an egg right onto Cas’ head. Cas stood there shocked as the egg oozed from his hair onto his face.

“Thank you. You don’t have to butter me up!” Cas said as he took a spoodfull of butter and put it down Dean’s shirt. Dean grabbed another handful of flour, ready to attack, when they heard someone clear their throat at the doorway. They looked over to see an unimpressed Sam standing there with his arms crossed.

“Really guys? You’re making a mess, and those puns were dreadful!” Dean and Cas just looked at each other and laughed. “I’ll just grab some water and be on my way then…” Sam awkwardly stepped up to the sink, trying to avoid the mess everywhere. He was about to leave when he noticed Cas. “Is that…egg? In your hair, is that egg?”

Cas touched the stream of ooze coming from his head. He looked at the slime left on his hand and looked up at Sam. “Oh no, they’ve gotten me. Go on with out me, Sam! Save yourself!” He said with a straight face and a worried tone and then fell to the floor. Sam rolled his eyes and left, leaving Dean and Cas to laugh hysterically.

“Don’t die on me Cas!” Dean tried to sound dramatic but was laughing as he knelt by Cas (and in some flour).

“Tell my mother…tell her...tell her, that you’re…an assbutt!” Cas laughed and sat up. Dean tossed a pinch of flour at Cas as the two of them stood up.

“We should finish these cookies. I’m getting hungry.” Dean said right as his stomach gave an audible grumble. “See!” Cas just chuckled, and they continued on with the recipe after cleaning themselves up a bit. Cas couldn’t stop smiling. He’s never really had such carefree fun like this before.

“Dean, you are not supposed to eat the dough. There is raw egg. It’s not healthy.” Cas scolded as Dean licked cookie dough off his finger.

“Yeah, I’m really worried about being healthy.” Dean took some more for himself. “Come on, don’t tell me you’ve never eaten cookie dough before.”

“No. I haven’t.” Cas stated rather proudly.

“What! That’s a disgrace! You have to try some. Now.” Dean scooped up some dough with a nearby spoon, shoving it in Cas’ face. “Eat it!”

“No Dean. That’s disgusting.” Cas mumbled, trying to keep his mouth relatively closed to keep it safe from the spoon Dean was using to poke his face.

“Eat it! If you don’t, I’ll never stop poking you and pestering you!”

“And how is that different from any other day?”

Dean gasped theatrically, “You think that I pester you all the time? You don’t want to see me when I’m actually trying to bother you then!”

“Ok fine! I’ll eat it. But only this little bit, okay?” Cas said, fearing what Dean might actually do to irritate him. He looked at the spoon that Dean was holding and Dean moved it closer to his face. Cas tried to take the spoon from him but he wouldn’t let go. “Dean, give me the spoon.” 

“I gotta make sure you do it. Just open your mouth.”

“I can feed myself thank you.”

“Apparently, you can’t because you’ve never done it before.” Cas just sighed and opened his mouth. He closed it around the spoon, tasting the cookie dough. He swallowed, and Dean took the spoon away, putting it back on the table. “So?” he asked.

“It’s actually really delicious. Very unhealthy, but very good.”

“Well good! Now that you’ve had the dough, it’s time to cook them so we can have the actual cookie.” Dean said as he picked up a tray where they had put dough on minutes before, and slid it into the pre-heated oven.

Per Cas’ request, the boys did homework while they waited for the cookies to bake. However, Dean did not want to do homework, so he tried to distract Cas any way possible.

“We should clean up. Don’t you think so, Cas? I mean it’s really a mess in here, and we promised my mom we wouldn’t make a mess. Come on, grab the paper towels. Let’s clean up.”

“Hey Dean, do you want to clean up?” Cas asked sarcastically.

“Yeah, what gave you that idea?” Dean replied, just as sarcastically. But Cas got up anyway and they started to clean. Cas put away the ingredients, asking Dean where some of them went, while Dean cleaned up the flour, egg, and sugar from the floor. They both started to clear away some of the bowls and measuring cups when the timer went off. Dean carefully took out the tray, and they looked perfect.

“Now we just have to wait for them to cool.” Cas said, ever the voice of reason.

“Or we could just eat them now and keep the milk close by in case we burn our mouths.” Dean offered, thinking of his noisy stomach.

“No Dean. Let’s finish cleaning up, and then we can eat some, okay?” Dean grumbled but agreed.

They were pretty much done cleaning when Dean noticed something. “Cas? Cas, do you still have that egg in your hair?”

Cas felt his hair, and indeed, there was still egg there. “I tried to get it out earlier, but I guess I didn’t do a good job. It is egg.” 

“Let me help. Sit.” Dean ordered, as he grabbed a paper towel and dampened it a little. Cas sat down at the table as Dean came over to help. There was still quite a bit of egg left, and he struggled to get it all out. After getting most of it out, Dean ran his fingers through Cas’ hair a couple times to see if he missed any spots, which he always wanted to do. Not the looking for egg part, the running his fingers though his hair part. Cas’ hair was so soft and now a bit damp from the water, so it was sticking up everywhere.

“Is the egg all out?” Cas turned around a bit to glance at Dean.

“Yeah, but now your hair is…well it’s sticking up” Dean said, trying to hide his blush. Cas was looking at him with sex hair of the gods. Damn, he was attractive.

“That’s fine, I guess. Now we can finish cleaning up and finally eat the cookies!” Cas said with new excitement.

“Yup! You’re suddenly extra excited for these cookies. Is it ‘cause I played with your hair? Do you like when people play with your hair Cas?” Dean teased, but secretly hoped the answer was yes. And going by the blush appearing on Cas’ face, that could only mean one thing. “So that’s a yes.” Dean ruffled Cas’ hair before starting to wipe down the last messy bits of counter space.

It was only another minute before they had finished cleaning up and could eat the cookies. Cas picked some cookies of the tray, Dean grabbed 2 glasses from the cupboard and the milk from the fridge.

“Wow these came out great!” Dean said with a mouth full of cookie.

“Yeah, these are delicious.” Cas agreed as he dunked his second cookie. But, in the middle of taking a bite, he phone went off. “Excuse me.” Cas said as he answered his cell. 

Dean tried not to pay attention to the conversation because he didn’t want to be rude, but he couldn’t help it.

“Hello, this is Castiel……yes…I’m at Dean’s right now………no…….okay, yes father……yes….okay, goodbye.”

“What was that about?” Dean said eating his 5th? 6th? cookie.

“My father wants me to come home.”

“Oh okay. Wanna ride?” Cas nodded. “And some cookies to go?”

Cas nodded again, “Thank you Dean. That would be great.”

Dean grabbed a sandwich bad from the cabinet and tossed about 6 cookies into it. He handed it to Cas after Cas had finished putting his books back into his backpack.

The boys hopped into the impala and drove a couples minutes to the Novak house. Cas was a little more quiet than usual but Dean didn’t say anything. He knew tensions were high between Cas and dad right now, so he didn’t want to push Cas.

When Dean pulled up to the sidewalk in front of his house, Cas hesitated to leave. Dean waited for Cas to do something, but he didn’t.

“Thank you, Dean. For everything today.” Cas said, not looking at Dean.

“Anytime Cas.” Dean smiled at him and put his hand on Cas’ shoulder. Cas looked at Dean because of the sudden touch.

“Well, thank you for the ride. See ya ‘round.” Cas said, finally opening the door and stepping out.

“See ya ‘round” Dean smiled, but couldn’t prevent himself from checking out Cas’ ass when he turned to leave. He mentally slapped himself. He’s your friend goddamn it.

On the drive back home, Dean couldn’t help but think about how perfect Cas was, but also how he wouldn’t do anything that could possibly hurt their friendship.


	6. The Zoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang heads out on a an after school zoo trip, but the day doesn't end the way they thought it would. And what's wrong with Castiel? Got some fluff and some angst!

It was a warm Wednesday in May, and most students were just waiting until the start of summer. Dean was by his locker chatting with Lisa, a girl in his history class, when he noticed Cas coming towards them. Cas seemed to look at the two of them talking, and then decided to leave, but Dean called him over. If Cas needed to tell him something, why should he wait?

"Hey, Cas!" Dean said waving at Cas. Lisa looked over at him and smiled politely.

"Good morning Dean, Lisa." Cas greeted.

"Morning Cas." Lisa replied.

"So, what's up?" Dean asked, looking at Cas.

"Well, uh...Jo came up to me this morning. She said she got some free tickets to go the zoo. She wanted to invite a bunch of people and asked me if I could pass along her invite to you." Cas spoke awkwardly and then quickly added, "And Lisa, you could probably come too if you want."

"When’s this trip?" Dean asked.

"Today, after school."

"Okay cool. I can go. You wanna come Lisa? It'll be fun." Dean said, smiling at Lisa.

"I'd love to! But I can't. I have to babysit my neighbor right after school today." Lisa really did look sad that she couldn't go. "But you guys have fun, okay? And make sure to see the giraffes for me."

"You got it. Thanks Cas." Dean said, looking back at Cas.

"See ya 'round, Dean."

"See ya 'round, Cas." And then Cas left, leaving Dean and Lisa to continue their previous conversation.

Cas felt a bit jealous, seeing Dean flirt with Lisa, though he had no reason to feel that way. It’s not like Dean was his. And they didn’t even have English today with the way classes rotated through. At least he could talk to Dean later today.

***

After classes finished for the day, everyone met outside the school's front entrance.

"Okay guys. I'm thinking we carpool." Jo said, trying to organize everyone. Everyone mumbled an agreement and piled into each others' cars. Jo, Ash, Anna, and Tessa (Anna's friend) went in Jo's car. Sam, Jess, Dean and Cas hopped into the impala and they left the school, following Jo's old car.

The ride there was pretty normal; Dean and Cas sat in the front, talking about school and music, and Sam and Jess sat in the back talking about who knows what. At a stop light, Dean leaned over to Cas and motioned for Cas to come in closer. Cas hesitantly leaned in, but Dean pulled at his trench coat so Cas would be closer and Dean could whisper something to him.

"Cas, please tell me it's not just me, but, does it seem like Sam and Jess really like each other?" Dean leaned back and raised his eyebrows, and motioned his head to the back seat. Cas looked back and saw the two freshman flirting like there was no tomorrow.

In a regular voice Cas replied, "Dean, you are a bit late to the party on this revelation. Jo has been talking about this for a while now."

"Oh." Dean felt a bit stupid, but, thankfully, the light turned green so he had an excuse to focus on the road again.

When they arrived at the zoo parking lot, they tried to park as close to Jo's car as possible but ended up a few cars down from them. Cas went straight to Jo to, Dean figured, to make fun of his obliviousness, because Jo started to laugh hysterically. When she calmed down, she handed out the tickets that her parents gave her and left the 2 extra ones in her dashboard. 

They split up into 2 groups. Sam, Jess, Tessa, and Anna went off in search of penguins and animals in the building for arctic animals. Jo, Dean, Ash, and Cas stayed outside, looking at the tigers, gazelles and a bunch of other strange land mammals.

About twenty fun, animal filled minutes went by, when Ash said, "I know it was cloudy earlier, but it really looks like it's gonna rain soon." They all looked up at the sky.

"Meh, we'll probably be fine. It'll probably start raining when we get home or something. I mean I didn't hear anything about rain in the forecast today." And of course, a slight drizzle started. "Of course." Dean said, angry at the sky. 

"Come on, we should find somewhere to stay dry." Jo said.

They headed towards one of the animal pens (for lions) which had an awning over a bulletin board with lion info on it. The moment they got there, it started to down pour.

"What did you say about no rain in the forecast, Dean?"

"Shut up, Ash." Dean said gruffly. 

Jo tried to stand closer to the board, which meant she would be more covered and out of the rain. Ash looked like he really didn't care but he pulled his coat closer around him. Dean was irritated that he was wrong as he tugged his jacket more closed to keep the rain out. Cas seemed slightly frustrated as he pulled his trench coat over his head. He was getting the wettest because, sadly, their cover was only so big.

"We should find a building or something. How about the gift shop? I think it's a bit further up this path." Jo offered, looking at Cas, who was just getting wetter. Thankfully he had his coat, but he did not see pleased.

"Sounds like a plan." Ash agreed, and the two of them just took off running in the rain. Dean and Cas were left rather stunned. When did they agree on running there right at this moment?

"Wha...? What just happened?" Dean said confusedly.

"Must have been one of those sibling moments where they just silently agree on something without telling anyone else."

"Seems logical. Well, you wanna go? You don't look to happy here." Dean chuckled, looking at Cas.

"I don't like the rain. Or being wet against my will for that matter." Cas grumbled. Dean remembered when Sam had pulled that stupid prank a while ago, drenching Cas. And he would never admit it, but grumpy Cas was pretty cute.

Dean chuckled again. "Well, let's go." Dean was about to take off, but it looked like Cas wasn't going to follow him. So, he made a spur of the moment decision to just pull Cas along with him. Cas stumbled a bit, surprised by Dean suddenly tugging him along, but he was able to stay upright. They ran through the rain, Dean jumping a puddle ever few steps, and Cas almost tripping, trying not to get splashed by Dean and get more wet.

The boys soon made it to the gift shop though where a wet Jo and Ash were looking through stuffed animals and books respectively.

"Took you boys long enough. What were you doing? Making out in the rain?" Jo pretty much yelled when she say them come through the door.

"What? No! Geez Jo, you always think the weirdest things." Dean retorted, but both boys blushed, which did not go unnoticed by Jo or Ash.

"I just hope the others found shelter, too. This rain is horrible." Cas said, looking through a book near him.

"Yeah, we should probably head out when it lightens up a bit. I don't think any of us really want to stay much longer if it keeps raining." Jo said.

"Yes, I think that's a good idea." Cas agreed.

"Look! Umbrellas!" Ash said, pointing at some umbrellas with animal faces on the tops. "I say we call up the others, and meet up at the cars after we buy a couple of umbrellas to keep us from getting any wetter."

"Genius, Ash." Dean said, already flipping his phone open to call up Sam. He reiterated the plan to Sam and they agreed to all rush to cars in about 5 minutes, when, hopefully, the rain would die down.

Jo bought the panda umbrella for her and Ash to share, and Dean picked up the Frog one for him and Cas. They looked around the shop for another minute before heading out, back towards the parking lot. Ash and Jo didn't really care about getting wet, so they just quickly walked ahead, but Dean thought they might have ulterior motives. Cas and Dean were relatively alone, slowly making their way without splashing in too many puddles. They had to walk pretty close together though because the umbrella was made for kids, so their hands would brush each other's every other step. 

They just reach the parking lot when a family of four passed them. The daughter stopped right in front of them though, looking at the two of them.

"May we help you?" Cas offered the young girl.

"No, I'm fine thank you. I just think you two look adorable with your froggy umbrella. I love frogs!"

"Thanks." Dean chuckled awkwardly. Thankfully, her dad noticed that she was no longer next to him and came back to get her.

"Sorry about my daughter. She means well. I didn't mean for her to ruin your date or anything." The father apologized, bring his daughter close to him and back under his own umbrella.

"Uh, no it's...we're...not.." Dean stumbled, trying to explain that they weren't a couple. However, the father took it to mean something else and just continued. talking.

"Oh it's fine. We're accepting people." And the father smiled at them and then turned and left with his daughter. Dean and Cas stood there rather stunned and awkward. But the other's were calling them. Sam and Anna needed Dean to unlock the impala. (The had switched up which car Jess and Anna were in so Dean could just drop of both of the Novaks, and since Tessa and Jess lived closer together.) They wanted to go home and get dry ASAP. So they snapped out of their awkwardness and strode off to the impala.

Dean let Cas use the umbrella to get to his side, while Dean unlocked the car for everyone. Therefore, Dean was little wet when he got in and he shook himself a bit to get a little less wet.

"So what was that about?" Sam said, peering back and forth from Dean to Cas.

"What was what about?" Dean said, pulling out of the parking space, and knowing exactly what Sam meant.

"You know exactly what I mean Dean." Damn it. Why is Sam so smart sometimes. "That little girl and her dad or whatever? What happened?"

"She just complimented us on our frog umbrella." Cas replied, but both Cas and Dean were blushing.

"Okay." Sam did not sound convinced, but he stopped talking about it. Well, he stopped talking about it to them at least.

"You can keep the umbrella Cas. You need it more than I do." Dean said, thinking of how Cas would have to walk out in the rain again.

"Thank you, Dean."

"Anytime." Dean smiled and looked over at Cas. He was still a bit wet from the rain, but he was slowly drying. Cas' hair was still wet though and it was sticking everywhere. Dean remembered not long ago when he had helped get egg of Cas' hair. His hair had been stinking up almost the same way. Dean just wanted to reach over and thread his fingers into the mess that is Cas' hair, fondly remembering how Cas didn’t deny that he really liked it. But instead, he finally looked back to the road. God knows how he didn't crash. He was staring at Cas for ages.

They pulled into the Novak's driveway and Cas got his umbrella ready. Anna prepared to hide under it the moment she got out too. But before Cas opened the door, Dean said, "Wait, Cas. You got something in your hair. It's like fuzz or something." He reached over to Cas and plucked a(n imaginary) piece of fuzz out of his hair and then ruffled his hair for good measure. Cas blushed and was rather shocked at Dean. Anna opened her door, and the sound of it snapped Cas back into reality and he opened his door and umbrella. The two then disappeared into the house.

Sam hopped into the passenger seat and then stared at Dean as he pulled away from the house. "Really Dean? Are you kidding me? I mean come on!"

"What? What did I do now?"

"Could you be a bigger flirt? There was definitely nothing in his hair." 

"What do you mean? I wasn't flirting. I wouldn't flirt with Cas." Dean said defensively.

“Yeah, sure Dean. So what have you mean doing these past…what…5 months? Dean I’ve never seen you act like this with anyone else. It’s amazing really. You two seem to just fit really well together.” Sam actually sounded pretty sincere as he spoke, which surprised Dean.

“We’re just friends. Sam. Nothing more. Okay? So drop it.” Dean replied, not looking at Sam.

“You don’t have to get so defensive.” Sam teased.

“I’m not defensive.” Dean said defensively. 

“Of course, Dean. Of course.”

The rest of the car ride went by rather quietly. The only sounds were the rain on the windshield, and the tires going through puddles. When they got home, Sam hopped in the shower to warm up. Dean went off to his room. He ended up on his laptop, scrolling through his Facebook page, looking at pictures of him and Cas. There were actually a fair few. There were pictures from when they went bowling, when they went to that hockey game (because the guy Jo liked was playing and she wanted people to come with her), when they were messing around in class with Dean’s IPod (they took pictures of funny faces they made when the teach wasn’t looking), there were ones when they all went to the Road House for dinner, and the albums just keep going. Jo didn’t even take pictures every time they went out. But whenever she did, there were always ones of just Dean and Cas. ‘We just always end up sitting next to each other. It’s no big deal’. Dean thought to himself. 

But then he saw a notification. Jo tagged him in another picture. ‘But she hadn’t taken any today…did she?’ Dean opened the picture. It was a picture of him and Cas walking together under the umbrella. It wasn’t very good quality, probably because of the rain, but it looked like they had been talking because they were looking at each other. ‘When could Jo have possible have taken….’ And then it hit him. When Jo and Ash went off, leaving him and Cas to walk back by themselves. They must have hidden somewhere and taken the photo. It really was a nice picture though.

Dean heard Sam leave the bathroom, meaning the shower was free. He was still pretty wet and cold, so he decided to shower and come back to the picture later.

After a nice long, warm shower, Dean changed into some pajamas and checked Facebook again. There were so many likes and comments on that one stupid photo of him and Cas. There were 12 likes and the comments were all stuff like: ‘They are SOOOO cute together!!!’ ‘r they goin out yet??’ ‘LUV DIS PIC!’ ‘Wow great picture!’ ‘They’re dating right? They really should’. That last comment had a bunch of likes, which made Dean’s stomach feel weird.

Cas hadn’t commented or anything which made Dean worry. What if Cas was freaked out about everyone saying all of this? Dean did not want to mess up their friendship. He just ignored it and hoped no one would be talking about it tomorrow at school.

However, later that night, Dean couldn’t help but think of Cas right before he fell asleep.

***

Thankfully, nobody had brought up the Facebook picture, at least not to Dean. Dean hoped that everyone had left Cas alone too.

It wasn’t until the end of the day when Dean saw Cas again. He was about to go and talk to him when he was stopped by Lisa.

“Hey Dean.” She smiled up at him.

“Hey Lisa. How are you doing today?” Dean replied, trying not to glance over at Cas to see if he was still in the same spot.

“Oh I’m good, and I heard that you are going out with Cas now.” She didn’t sound angry at all. He genuinely sounded happy for him. But her face looked like she was sad.

“Oh, I’m not going out with him. Jo just took that photo, but it doesn’t mean anything or whatever. The person I actually like…is you.” Dean smirked at her. He wasn’t really lying. He really did like Lisa. She was beautiful and smart and amazing. The only probably, was that she wasn’t Cas…

“Really!?”

“Yeah, really.”

“I would love to go out with you sometime if you want.” Lisa smiled, but it looked like she was trying to hold back most of her joy, like she didn’t want to explode with happiness. 

The exchanged numbers and made some plans to go to the movies over the weekend and Dean was happy. Except, when he looked up, Cas was nowhere to be scene.

Lisa left, and Dean went to look for Cas in the usual places he is after school. He wasn’t even outside waiting to be picked up. Dean was a little confused but didn’t think anything of it.

***

Over the next couple of weeks, Dean and Cas didn’t really talk much. Cas learned that Dean was now dating Lisa, and Dean learned that Cas got in another fight with his father, but they didn’t say much else. Even when they hung out with other people, there was this new tension. Dean just figured it was from that stupid Facebook photo, so he didn’t think anything of it. 

He should have though, because once summer started, Cas disappeared. No one knew where he went. Dean went to his house a couple of times, but either no one answered, or they just said Cas wasn’t there. Anna wouldn’t even elaborate. 

Dean worried, but he still hung out with Jo and Ash, and he still went on dates with Lisa. But nothing was right. Everything felt off. Cas was nowhere to be found and Dean just didn’t know what to do without him.

Some nights, Dean would just look back at the old photos of them and say to himself, “Where the hell are you, man?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be the last chapter for a while. Don't worry, there are more on the way! I just haven't had a lot of time to write and I want to get a few chapters done before I start posting again. Sorry to leave you with a cliff hanger but not sorry. Hopefully I'll have another chapter up within a week (hopefully)!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has left comments or kudos! you guys have been too kind to me :) I'm glad you like it!


	7. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summer is over, class is about to start, and Cas never returned. Dean doesn't know what to do, but maybe...
> 
> '“Cas.” Dean repeated as he approached the figure. But the person who turned around wasn’t Cas.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Trigger Warning for gay-shaming. There are flashbacks in this chapter and maybe in future chapters but they’re all Cas’. I think that’s all I need to say for this chapter…anywho, thank you, everyone, for the wonderful comments! More will be up soon :)

Summer went by pretty slow. There were some days that went by more quickly than others but it seemed to last a lot longer than usual. Dean spent most of his time hanging out with his, now official, girlfriend Lisa. They hung out quite a bit during the summer. Lisa worked at a children’s camp and Dean helped out Bobby, a family friend, down at his salvage yard. But, whatever time they got off, they were together, or with the rest of the gang (minus Cas).

However, Dean still had heard nothing about Cas. He still stopped by the Novak house every once and a while to see if he was there, but he wasn’t, and no one told him anything.

Dean had walked down to a nearby park as he had gotten used to in the past few weeks. It was late at night and pretty dark, but the street lamps were still lit, and they created an eerie light that made the park look haunted. Dean had gotten used to the slightly creepy atmosphere after the first few times he found himself strolling down the empty paths.

‘How could Cas just slide right into my life so easily, and then drop off the face of the planet without a trace? How could he just leave? What happened to him?’ Dean thought, as per usual, as he walked in the dark with his hands in his jacket pockets.

It was a crisp summer night, rather pleasant really, but Dean just wanted his best friend back. ‘Why does it bother me so much that he’s gone? It’s not like we have been friends for our whole lives or something!’ Dean thought, but he knew exactly why it affected him so much. He would just never admit it.

***

Dean thought he should have felt more excited for the first day of his senior year at high school, but he didn’t. It was school, but it was senior year. Shouldn’t that mean something? He and Sam hopped into the impala, and picked up Lisa on the drive to school. Dean kissed her when she got into the car, but it didn’t feel like he thought it should. It felt more like habit now more than anything else.

When they got to school, Sam went off his own way, but Lisa and Dean met up with the usual gang. They swapped summer stories that they hadn’t already shared with each other, and everything was pretty normal. Though, Dean did not know how he would survive classes without Cas around. He somehow couldn’t remember what he used to do in school without Cas around to bug, in and after class.

All his classes were pretty much the same as they all were on the first day of school. Each class had class rules, expectations, stupid, awkward ice breakers that everyone hated, and doing a quick synopsis of what the class was about. There were few deviations from the usual list. Sometimes a teacher would play a game, or already assign homework, depending on how strict the teacher was.

Dean was just frustrated by the end of the day. He wouldn’t be driving Lisa home since she had a student council meeting already, so he just went out as he usually did to meet Sam by the impala and go home. He just wanted this boring day to end.

He walked out of the front of the school, like he did last year, and he saw a familiar figure, standing with their back to him and a tan trench coat, blowing in the wind, like he did last year.

“Cas.” Dean breathed out, barely audible to anyone but himself.

“Cas.” Dean repeated as he approached the figure. But the person who turned around wasn’t Cas. 

Well they were, but they weren’t. It was obviously Cas but he looked so different. He looked exhausted and worn down. He looked horrible. Dean tried to look at the positives for now though.

“It’s good to see you. Nice peach fuzz.” Dean said, poking at Cas’ face. 

“Thank you.” Cas said as formally as usual. However, instead of staring at Dean like he used to, he kept looking down. Dean tried to make eye contact, but Cas wouldn’t look directly at him.

Dean knew that something was wrong with Cas, and he just wanted to hug him, but Cas looked like he would break. He just looked frail, and unlike himself. Cas always seemed so pristine and kind, but this Cas was weary and broken looking.

“How was your summer? Where’d you go off to?” Dean said, trying to sound as casual as he could.

“It was fine, thank you. And yours?” Cas had ignored Dean’s second question. 

“Don’t avoid my question Cas. Where were you this whole summer? Did you go on some awesome vacation to Europe and not tell anyone?” Dean tried to joke.

“No.” Cas still wouldn’t look at Dean.

“Then what? Why did you just leave and not tell anyone?” Dean couldn’t hold back his anger much longer and he was getting really irritated. Cas didn’t say anything though so Dean just continued. “I texted you, Cas, every week.”

“I know.” Cas replied, looking at the school instead of at Dean.

“You knew and you didn’t reply? What the hell’s wrong with you? I thought we were friends” Dean was angry now. Cas knew that Dean tried to get a hold of him. Cas knew and he just ignored him. Dean was going to continue on but he couldn’t. He saw the horribly depressed look that suddenly appeared on Cas’ face. He wanted to apologize but Cas just said, “My ride’s here. I have to go. Goodbye, Dean.”

Cas seemed so awkward and strange. His behavior was just so different that Dean couldn’t stay angry. What happened to him over the summer?

***

Dean walked over to the impala, with his head swimming, drowning with questions.

“What was that about?” Sam said looking at Dean’s confused face.

“That was…That was Cas.” Dean replied, unlocking the car as if he were on autopilot.

“Cas? Really? Where was he? How’s he doing?” Sam had asked a bunch of other questions, but Dean had stopped paying attention. He just pulled out of the parking lot, headed for home.

“So? Dean? What did Cas say?” Sam said eagerly.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, I don’t know.” Dean didn’t take his eyes off of the road.

“What do you mean?”

“He didn’t say anything. Something’s happened.”

“What happened?” Sam questioned, worriedly.

“No idea. I might text him or something and get some answers.”

When the brothers got home, they told their parents about their Cas encounter. Mary had been just as worried as Sam had been and John seemed relieved to know that the boy was back safe. For the months that Cas had been around, he had really become a part of their family without knowing it. His disappearance had troubled the whole family, but Dean most of all.

***

The next day, Dean attempted to track down Cas, but Cas must have been trying to avoid him because he couldn’t find him anywhere. Dean didn’t see him in the halls, or at lunch or even in the library. But, during lunch, Jo said she heard that Cas had math class on the second floor near the auditorium last period.

Dean made it his mission to catch Cas before he could leave his class. He snuck out of his history class with 2 minutes to spare until the bell rang. He made it just in time to see people start to file out of the classroom. He snuck in through the crowd and saw Cas putting his stuff in his backpack.

“Hey.” Dean said, approaching Cas, who was standing up. He almost sat back down in shock of Dean’s sudden presence.

“Oh, uh, hello Dean.” Cas greeted awkwardly.

“What’s wrong?” Dean demanded. He wanted answers and wouldn’t let Cas escape until he got some.

“Nothing is wrong.” Cas said, not looking at Dean.

“Bullshit. Something is obviously wrong. Tell me.”

Cas sighed. Dean smirked a bit, figuring Cas was about to cave and just tell him everything.

“Not here.”

“What?” Dean made a confused face.

“I will tell you, just not here. I can come over later today and tell you everything.”

“No.” Dean said, which got Cas’ attention. Cas looked up and actually looked at Dean for what felt was the first time. “I’ll come to your house, just in case you can’t get to my house or something. We need to talk, and there’s no way out of this conversation.” Cas was stunned by Dean’s persistence. Cas knew Dean didn’t like to talk about stuff, so it was strange that he was so insistent on this conversation.

“We can’t talk at my house.” Cas looked down again.

“Fine. Sneak out. I know a place we can talk. I’ll text you when I get to your house, and I’ll wait outside. See ya then.” Dean turned and left. He wanted to talk to Cas now, while he could, but he also didn’t want Cas to somehow worm out of this. Cas couldn’t say no if Dean didn’t let him.

So Dean went home. Sam had gone home with Jess and Lisa had driven herself today, so it was a lonely drive. The rest of the day went by pretty normally after that, until nightfall. It was 9 o’clock and pretty dark, so Dean headed out to the Novak’s house. He couldn’t take the car without his parents hearing him so he just walked. He got to Cas’ at about 9:20 and texted Cas to let him know he was there.

Dean saw Cas look out his window, so he waved. Cas left his window and in a minute or two, Dean heard the front door quickly creak open.

“Hello Dean.” Cas whispered.

“Hey Cas. Come on, I know a place we can talk.” Dean whispered back, and then they started to walk in awkward silence to the park Dean had become so familiar with. However, when they got there, it didn’t seem so eerie anymore. It was a bit chillier than it was during the summer, but it seemed more comfortable.

Dean ignored the new feeling and looked at Cas, which just gave him more feelings but he ignored those too. He walked to a nearby bench and Cas followed. The bench was partially hidden by some trees, but there was a lamppost nearby that lit the area.

They sat down and Dean broke the silence. “So, spill it Cas. What happened.” It wasn’t a question, it was an order. Dean needed to know what happened.

“You need to promise to not tell anyone, okay?” Cas looked worried.

“I promise.” Dean said, suddenly nervous. ‘What had happened to Cas that needed to be kept a secret?’

“Okay. Well, it’s kind of a long story…” Cas trailed off.

“That’s fine. I got time.” Dean said, egging Cas on.

“Remember in May when we went to the zoo?” Dean nodded, not wanting to interrupt Cas. “And did you see that picture that Jo posted of us on Facebook?” Dean nodded again, he remember that picture well. “Well, I was worried that people would tease us or something, but no one did, which surprised me in a good way. I figured people would bully me for being gay or something, but I was happy that they didn’t. But that was never the problem. My father also saw the picture that day, and you know how my father is about…that stuff.” Cas paused. Dean became worried about how this story would continue.

“That night, my father and I got in another fight. But this one was more serious. I guess he had never really taken me seriously when I told him I was gay, so he figured that it was just a phase or something. But, when he saw that picture, he freaked out. He thought that we were dating and he got really mad. He could not have a gay son. He told me that I couldn’t talk to or see you again because he thought I “turned you gay” or that you were trying to mess me up even more. He was just furious.” Cas paused again. He had this look in his eyes like he was remembering that night in vivid detail. Dean was fuming on the inside. ‘How could someone say that to their own son? How dare he say something like that?’

Cas took a deep breath and continued. “So, he told the teachers to make sure I didn’t talk to you. He told them that you were a ‘bad influence’. And, without telling me, he…” Cas looked away from Dean. 

Dean waited patiently for Cas to finish the story. He was so troubled by what he had already heard and almost didn’t want Cas to continue, but he had to know what happened to his best friend.

Cas sighed. “He sent me to straight camp, for the summer.” Cas looked down at his shoes.

“Wait, what? Straight camp? Do you mean…like they try and make you straight?” Dean was so confused and angry.

“Yes.” Cas replied. “He had already packed my stuff and just dropped me off the minute school finished. It was horrible Dean. Thankfully I faked it well enough to ‘pass’ and ‘graduate’ before school started again.” Dean felt heart broken. Who knows what they did to him. He wanted to say something, but Cas continued.

“Can I just say though, that I learned a lot more about girls than I ever wanted to.” Cas chuckled. Dean tried to laugh to, but he couldn’t. “I mean we watched videos, and they did these informational sessions about the wonders of liking girls, but it was… it was crap.” Dean was surprised, hearing Cas swear. It sounded strange coming from him. “They even paired all the gay guys with a lesbian girl. It was…awkward…I at least got paired with this nice girl, named Charlie. She ‘graduated’ too. She’s actually the one who helped me fake straightness.” Cas smiled at her memory.

“Geez Cas…she sounds nice.” Dean couldn’t help but smile when he saw Cas smile.

Cas finally looked at Dean again. “Yeah, she was. She had great advice and she almost reminded me of you a bit.”

***Flashback***

“Hiya, I’m Charlie. And I’m a lesbian.” Said the red headed girl that approached Cas. She sounded so proud of her sexuality. Cas already envied her.

“I’m Castiel.” Cas replied. It was barely a week into camp, and he was desperate to just get home.

“Weird name.” Castiel rolled his eyes; he’s never heard that before. “And why are you wearing a scarf? It’s summer!” Charlie said, tugging at the blue scarf draped around Castiel’s neck.

“It just reminds me of home.” Castiel said, but by ‘home’, he didn’t mean his own house.

“Home? You mean the jerks that sent you here? Why do you want to remember them so fondly?” Charlie looked at Castiel with a confused look.

“I didn’t say my family. My friend gave it to me, and he is much more like family than my actual family was.” Cas said defensively.

“Ooooh! I get it! The guy you like gave it to you, and now you miss him.” Charlie teased him, trying to joke around. But Castiel just gave her a cold look.

“I never got to say goodbye.” And he ended their conversation. Charlie understood though.

From then on, she had an understanding of him that helped them get through the horrible prison they were in. But she never brought it up again, and made sure no one else did either.

***End Flashback***

“She was a great friend.” Cas said, coming back to reality.

“What was her name?” Dean said. He would much rather keep this girl as the topic of conversation instead of the shit that probably went on in that camp.

“Her name? Her name was Charlie. She was very nerdy and very smart, but also very strong and sure of herself. I wish I was more like her. I wish I was more proud of who I am. She pretended to be straight to get out of the camp, but she never questioned who she was. I envy that about her.” Cas looked at Dean with a sad look.

Dean felt hopeless. He had no idea how to cheer Cas up. He didn’t know what to do in emotional situations like this, and Cas was looking to him. So, he stood up, looked at Cas, and said, “Come with me. You gotta see something.”

Cas looked up at him and smiled a bit. A smile; just what Dean was hoping for. Dean led him through a more wooded area, across a little bridge, and past the playground, to a beautiful small lake that reflected the stars back at them. This area was a lot more lit up and more peaceful. The water was almost perfectly still and calm. The slight ripples in the surface distorted the light it was reflecting, but they created a quite murmur when then reached the shore.

“Wow.” Cas’ face was stunning. He was aghast at the beautiful sight, trying to take in every bit of it. Dean was just trying to take in the look on Cas’ face.

“Yeah. It’s beautiful.” Dean said, not taking his eyes off Cas.

Cas looked directly at Dean. “Thank you Dean. This is amazing.”

Dean was at a loss for words, so he just said the first thing that came to his mind. “Wanna swim?” Dean mentally hit himself for saying that, but hey, who knows what might happen?

“Swim? The water’s probably freezing Dean! This isn’t Florida.” Cas said, surprised at Dean’s strange offer. “If I knew there was a lake, I might have at least brought a bathing suit…”

Dean chuckled. “Come on! We can just go in our boxers; it’ll be fun!” Dean took off his shirt, suddenly motivated by a new-found courage.

Cas watched as Dean slipped out of his sneakers and fiddled with his belt buckle before he took off his own coat and shirt. Dean put his clothes on a nearby rock in a messy pile. Cas folded his trench coat, and then put his folded clothes on top of it in a neat pile next to Dean’s on the rock.

Dean went to the shore and waded in. Cas hesitantly went after him.

“Ah! Dean this is freezing!” Cas called as he walked further in. He was already knee-deep and shivering slightly, but Dean was already in all the way to his thighs, his boxers were almost getting wet. 

“Oh come on! Be brave, Cas!” Dean started back towards Cas, trying not to check out his runners body. Cas sure was fit. Cas crossed his arms across his chest, though, out of coldness. “It’s not that cold.” Dean said, but he was starting to feel the cold seep through his skin.

They both started to go deeper into the lake again when they heard a voice. “Hey! You! What are you doing!?” They turned and saw someone coming towards them. They were jogging along the path that ran around the lake. They had a flashlight and sounded angry. Then it hit Dean. Cop.

“Cas, run!” Dean whispered.

“What?” Cas said surprised. Dean just grabbed his arm and headed towards their clothes. At least they weren’t skinny dipping or else this would have been a lot more awkward. They grabbed their clothes and started to run towards the wooded path they came out of earlier.

They heard the cop (?) still coming after them, so they ran harder.

“This way!” Dean called, and grabbed Cas’ arm to direct him through a more hidden path he found a month or so ago. Cas stumbled a bit but steadied himself. They ran down the path for a while, taking some sharp turns before ducking behind a huge tree that was somewhat off the path. They hid there, trying to quiet their breath, and listen for the cop.

It was a couple minutes before Cas broke the silence. “Do you think we’re safe now?”

“Yeah.” Dean replied. He stood up, putting on his clothes again. He slipped into his jeans and then slid on his socks and shoes. “I never realized how much I loved shoes until having to run through these woods without them.” Dean commented as he tied his laces. Cas sat next to him, sliding on his own shoes, and nodding in agreement. 

Dean stood up and looked around on the ground. “Missing something?” Cas asked.

“I think, yeah…” Dean replied, circling the tree. “Crap, I think I lost my shirt.”

“I bet if you had folded your clothes, you wouldn’t have lost anything.” Cas teased.

“Oh shut up.” Dean said, lightly shoving Cas into the tree.

“Should we backtrack and try and find it?” Cas said, standing up next to Dean.

“Nah that cop might still be around. Let’s just head home. I mean it’s not that cold out. And I still have my jacket, so I won’t freeze.” Dean grabbed his jacket and pulled it on, as Cas did the same with his trench coat. “To home!” Dean cheered which made Cas chuckle.

“This sure has been an eventful night.” Cas mumbled.

“Yeah but it’s been fun.” Dean said hopefully.

“Definitely fun.” Cas smiled at Dean as they walked along the path. They held each other’s gaze for a while before Dean looked away shyly. The walk back to Cas’ house was almost as quiet as the walk from his house to the park, but it was a lot more comfortable. 

When they arrived back at the Novak house, they stopped on the sidewalk, not too close to the house, to say their goodbyes.

“Thank you for tonight Dean.”

“Anytime, Cas. Just remember, I’m always here for you, buddy.” Dean said reassuringly.

“It was a rough summer at that camp without you. My father would send me letters saying how I got another text from you, but never gave me my phone to reply. I’m so sorry. I knew you were there, but you didn’t know I was.” Cas said softly. He looked like he was about to cry. His eyes were almost watering, and Dean couldn’t stand there and do nothing. 

Dean pulled Cas in for a hug, wrapping his arms around Cas’ shoulders. One of his hands ended up on the top of Cas’ hair and the other landed at the curve between his neck and shoulder. Cas was somewhat surprised by the sudden contact, but he brought his arms up around Dean’s waist, grabbing at his jacket to keep him close. 

Dean closed his eyes tightly and leaned into the hug. He just felt horrible. As Cas grasped his jacket, Dean heard the sounds of silent tears landing on the back of his jacket.

“It’s okay. It’s all fine now.” Dean said, not knowing what else he could do. 

But being so close to Dean and smelling his usual scent brought Cas back to some of the harder times at camp…

***Flashback***

Castiel went back to his room. Everyone had their own room which was nice, and it meant that he could get some desperately needed time alone. He was going to have to go down to the dining hall in a minute or two, but he sat on his small cot, looking out the window. It was a pleasant day, but Castiel missed his friends. His friends here were nice, but he never got to be with them outside of sessions and stuff. 

He buried his face in his scarf. He felt like a lovesick teenage girl but he didn’t really care. Dean was the first person that was really nice to him, that treated him like a normal person. Castiel knew that he was strange, and everyone reminded him of that. Well, everyone except Dean. And with Dean came a bunch of other kind people who he didn’t know before.

He hadn’t really meant to bring Dean’s scarf anyway. The scarf was hanging up near the raincoat that his father put in his bags when he packed. He must have just picked up along with the coat by accident. But Castiel was thankful. He was glad that he had something to remind him that he still did have people who cared about him and not the fact that he was gay.

The scarf still smelled vaguely like Dean and it reminded him of when Dean gave it to him. He never knew how much Dean would mean to him back then. Castiel just felt so lonely here without him. Even though he barely got time to himself, he almost always felt alone. Everyone just kept on reminding him on how he needs to change himself and how he should live up to his name, Castiel, the angel. And everyone called him by his whole name, Castiel. He had to be a perfect angel, like the one he was named after. 

That was the worst part. They all reminded him to hate himself. They didn’t stop telling him how horrible it was to be gay. Charlie tried to cheer him up on the harsher days, but sometimes there was no hope. 

In the first few weeks of camp, he just wanted to run away and leave this place behind. But now, now he barely had the will to open the poisonous letters his father sent him. The letters were filled with words hoping Castiel will ‘get better’ and ‘stop sinning’ and they had news of how Dean was still texting him or how Dean stopped by at the house again looking for him. It broke his heart. Jo and Ash had apparently even stopped by a couple of times too, and Sam had called him a couple of times. He just wanted to scream and let his friends know where he was, but instead, he would cry himself to sleep just hoping he could see them all again soon.

But for now, he had to get to the dining hall before they started to wonder where he went.

***End Flashback***

Cas sniffled a bit and then said, “No. No it’s not Dean. My father still doesn’t want me to see you, and we still can’t talk at school.” He tightened his grip on Dean’s jacket. Dean stroked his head a bit, trying to calm him down. He didn’t want Cas to cry anymore. “What do I do?”

Dean opened his mouth to reply but didn’t know what to say. “We can still hang out, don’t worry. We can always meet up at the Roadhouse; the Harvelle’s will cover for you.” Dean tried to smile, stroking Cas’ hair to calm him down.

Cas buried his face into Dean’s shoulder before saying, “That could work. Thank you Dean.” Dean could feel Cas smile against his shoulder. Cas finally loosened his grip on Dean’s jacket and pulled away. Dean looked at his tear stained face and just wanted to kiss him but knew he shouldn’t. “I’ll see you tomorrow Dean, even if we don’t talk.” Cas said as he stepped away from Dean.

“Okay. And get some sleep Cas. You look exhausted.” Cas smiled a bit and nodded. “See ya ‘round Cas.” Dean said.

“See ya ‘round Dean.” Cas replied before he went up the porch steps and snuck back inside.

Dean hung around for a couple seconds, letting everything digest for moment, before he headed home. When he did get home though, he couldn’t sleep. He laid there thinking about all the horrible things that Cas must have dealt with at camp. No wonder Cas doesn’t want to look at him. He’s probably been brainwashed to not look at guys at all anymore. What if he feels ashamed for having to go there? Maybe that’s why he asked Dean to keep it a secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: another note! here's the picture I based their hug after: http://marskels.tumblr.com/post/40900786863 this is how I pictured it so I figured you might want to see what I was seeing :)


	8. Hercules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has a revelation. A few things happen to him and slowly starts to understand that he only needs one specific thing to happen to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: PDA = Public Displays of Affection just in case you didn’t know.

After Cas told Dean what happened to him over the summer, Dean told the gang a shortened version of the story, leaving out parts that Cas didn’t want everyone to know just yet. He told them how his father was just mad at him and sent him off to a camp for the summer without letting him tell anyone. Cas just wasn’t ready so come out to everyone yet.

They all hung out almost as much as they used to, but they usually ended up at the Roadhouse. (Cas told his father that he was at the library studying). Ellen, or Mrs. Harvelle when they were in class, was always glad to serve them as long as they didn’t get too rowdy. 

Sometimes they would all sneak out at night and meet in the park and a couple of times, Ash and Jo brought beer that they sneaked out from the Roadhouse. They never caused trouble, but, because of Dean and Cas’ previous run-in with a cop, they made sure to keep their eyes and ears open just in case.

Lisa ended up joining them a lot of the time, but Dean didn’t usually kiss her around the gang. He said it was because he didn’t really like PDA that much. But Lisa was skeptical about that. One Friday, she brought it up when he was driving her home from hanging out with Ash, Jo and Cas, 

“Dean, what’s the real reason you won’t kiss me in front of your friends. And don’t say it’s because you don’t like PDA because I know that’s a lie.” Lisa said, she sounded frustrated.

“It’s just, Lisa, I…” Dean trailed off. He wasn’t actually sure why. He looked out the window shield, searching for an answer, but he couldn’t find one. He must have been quiet for some time because Lisa broke the silence.

“It’s okay Dean. I know why. It’s fine, I understand. It’s probably better if we stopped dating then.” Lisa looked miserable.

“Huh?” Dean was utterly confused. What did she understand? Wait, did she want to break up? What was happening? “What do you mean? Are you saying you want to break up?” Dean was worried, he really did like Lisa.

“Yes. I don’t want to break up, but I just can’t go on like this. I know you like me too, but it’s just not working.” Lisa looked down at her lap, sighing.

“If you don’t want to break up, why are we breaking up?” Sometimes, Dean just couldn’t understand girls.

“You don’t see it do you?” She looked sad, not because they were breaking up, but like she was sad for Dean. “Seriously? How could you not see it? You are so very blind Dean Winchester. Please go after what you really want instead of trying to hold onto something you can’t keep.” Dean pulled up to the sidewalk in front of Lisa’s house but didn’t want her to get out just yet. He still didn’t understand what she was saying.

“Lisa, please explain. I don’t want to break up. What are you talking about?” Dean grabbed her arm quickly but not tightly. He didn’t want her to go.

“Yes you do Dean. You just don’t get it. I’m just not the one you truly love and I can’t try and hold onto you when I know I’ve already lost you to someone else.” Lisa patted Dean’s hand lightly, kissed his cheek, and then opened her door to leave. “I really do like you Dean, but we can’t keep lying to ourselves. I’ll see you at school.” And then she left without looking back.

Dean sat in the impala for a moment, confused, before he headed home. ‘What the hell was she on about? Girls are so goddamn confusing.’

Dean got home and went straight for the kitchen. All he needed right now was a glass of water and a sandwich.

Sam and Jess were watching some cartoon movie in the living room and it looked like Sam was trying to make a move on her, but was failing. Dean had gotten out the bread and meat and cheese and other ingredients for his sandwich when he heard Sam say to Jess, “This song always reminds me of Dean.” And Jess laughed. At least that’s what Dean thought he said. It was a little hard to hear him over the TV but he continued making his food without thinking about it. Until he heard what song it was.

 

“If there's a prize for rotten judgment  
I guess I've already won that  
No man is worth the aggravation  
That's ancient history, been there, done that!

Who'd'ya think you're kiddin'  
He's the Earth and heaven to you  
Try to keep it hidden  
Honey, we can see right through you  
Girl, ya can't conceal it  
We know how ya feel and  
Who you're thinking of”

 

“What the?” Dean muttered to himself as he walked towards the TV room. The screen showed a woman, who was obviously trying to hide her feelings for some guy, and 4 other ladies were trying to convince her otherwise. Dean could swear he knew what movie this was, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. ‘What does this have to do with me?’ Dean thought to himself.

Sam and Jess must not have heard or seen him come into the room because they continued to talk about him.

“Do you think he realizes how in love he can look sometimes?” Jess said, looking at Sam.

“Who knows. But, I hope he figures it out soon because I can’t stand it anymore!” Sam joked, making Jess laugh. Dean cleared his throat, alerting them that he was standing right behind them.

“Oh! Hey Dean.” Sam said, surprised.

“What are you talking about?” Dean said, eying the pair.

“Oh nothing.” Sam said.

‘Hmmm’ was all Sam got in reply from Dean. Dean left them to finish their movie, but as he left he heard the last lyrics.

 

At least out loud,  
I won't say I'm in love

***

Dean went through the rest of his day as he normally would. Well, he tried. The last lyrics stuck in his head, replaying and replaying and replaying and replaying. It was irritating him until he just looked up the rest of the song, hoping to get it out of his head. But that didn’t work. He tried to listen to other songs that he liked better. He tried to listen to a song multiple times. He tried to distract himself in any way he could, but the song wouldn’t go away.

‘Why is this bothering me so much!?’ Dean thought. ‘It’s a stupid song that I’ve listened to twice. I don’t understand!’ And then it hit him. He doesn’t understand. And what else did he not understand? The thing that Lisa was talking about. ‘What was she saying again? ‘How could you not see it. You are so blind Dean Winchester.’ Did she mean that he was denying his love for someone else? But who?’ 

Dean thought about who it could possibly be, but couldn’t think of anyone. He decided to go downstairs to the kitchen to grab a snack instead. When in doubt, food.

Dean opened the refrigerator when he heard knocking. ‘Who would be here at 9 at night?’ Dean thought. But it didn’t sound like it was coming from the front door. It sounded like it was coming from the slider door that leads to the backyard. And lo and behold, there was Cas, knocking on the slider door that leads to the backyard.

Dean was confused but went to the door anyway to let Cas in. “What are you doing Cas?”

“Hello to you to Dean. I snuck out. I was going to go to your front door but I was worried that you might not hear me knock.”

“Cas.”

“I didn’t want to use the doorbell though because I figured some people might be asleep. So I came to the back, and I was going to text you,”

“Cas.”

“but I saw you enter the kitchen so I figured I should just knock.” 

“Cas!”

“Sorry.”

“There is no need to apologize, you just gotta stop rambling.” Dean took a breath. “So, you snuck out? Why? What happened?”

“It’s my father again.”

“It can’t be about you being gay though? I mean they think you’re not anymore, right?”

“Well yeah. It’s just, he wants to set me up with this girl. Dean I’ve never been on a regular date before. How am I supposed to fake it with a girl?” Cas sat down at the kitchen table and put his head in his hands.

“What did your friend teach you? Charlie, right? I mean she helped you graduate or whatever, so why don’t you just do the same thing?” Dean sat down next to Cas but didn’t know how to consol him.

“She was always there, and she would help me all the time. This is just going to me and some girl I don’t even know.”

“Relax Cas, you’re going to be fine.” Dean said, but he really didn’t know what to do. He put his hand on Cas’ shoulder, trying to comfort him. “What if you turned it into a double date? I could go with you and bring Jo.”

“Yeah Dean, because my father would let me go out with you there. My father just loves you.” Cas said sarcastically.

“Okay Cas. I get it.” Cas just sunk lower into his seat. “Why don’t you just go on the date and act like you do around us. I mean you’re pretty relaxed around me, Jo, and Ash. Why don’t you just fake it?”

“Maybe. I don’t know if I can do it. And if I did, what if I have to…I dunno…” Cas trailed off, not finishing his sentence. 

“If you have to what? Kiss her?” Dean joked, but Cas blushed. “No. No. Cas please don’t tell me you’ve never kissed anyone before.”

“I haven’t.” Cas looked down at his lap. “And if I do kiss her, I don’t want my first kiss to be some random girl I don’t like.” Dean felt horrible. 

“What if we found you some guy you like and you kiss him before you went on your date?”

“That’s nice of you Dean, but I don’t…I don’t like any one.” Cas said, and he looked at Dean.

“Well maybe you won’t have to kiss her?” Dean said. But secretly Dean was thinking, ‘I wish I was the one you were going to kiss.’ And then it hit him. Cas. Cas was the one he loves. ‘I guess that makes sense though. I mean I can’t stop thinking about him. I felt horribly alone without him over the summer and I feel stupidly happy when he’s around. Is this love? What do I do?’

“Dean? Did you hear me?” Cas said, looking at Dean with a confused look on his face and a tilt of his head.

“Uh sorry could you repeat that?” Dean replied apologetically.

Cas chuckled. “I think I will have to kiss her if I want my dad to think I’m still straight. I mean I probably won’t have to…you know…make out or anything,” Cas said coyly, “but I’ll still have to kiss her.”

“Well that’s easy then! You really just have to touch lips then. It’s no big deal; just keep it simple. When’s this date gonna happen anyway?”

“This Sunday. I’ll tell you all about it on Monday after school.” Cas said, smiling. Dean smiled too because it was the first time Cas smiled since he got here. 

“Yeah, and how hard can one kiss be?” Dean said, patting Cas on the shoulder as he stood up. “I’m gonna grab some food. You want anything?” Cas shook his head. Dean did the usual scour for food (refrigerator, freezer, cabinets, counter, and then repeat) but he ended up just grabbing a glass of water. “Couldn’t find anything good.” Dean said shrugging when Cas gave him a weird look.

Cas still looked pretty bothered by the idea of kissing a girl though and Dean didn’t know how to help. “What can I do Cas? You look horrible and if you feel horrible on the date, it’ll just be harder to fake it.”

“You can’t do anything. Unless you want to kiss me.” Cas joked.

“Sure! Of course! If you want. I mean I know you and we’re close friends so it won’t have to be anything…you know…” Dean said somewhat selfishly. He wanted to help Cas, he really did, but he also really wanted to kiss him too.

“Really Dean?” Cas said, looking up at Dean, who was still standing and now nodding. “You want to be my first kiss?”

Dean could feel his face blush a deep red. “Well…I… I mean… I don’t want to be your first kiss really, I just want you to feel better about the whole date thing. You’re my friend Cas, and I can’t stand here and watch you be sad.” Dean said, putting his glass down and leaning on the counter.

“Thanks Dean.” Cas smiled up at Dean, but didn’t move from his spot at the table. Dean was afraid he had overstepped the friendship boundaries a bit and scared off Cas since he still hadn’t moved. But then Cas said, “So… how…how should we do this?” He looked down at the table.

Dean took a deep breath. He felt horribly selfish but couldn’t back out now. “Come here.” Dean said. Cas looked up at him. “Come here.” He repeated, and Cas stood up and slowly came towards him. They were standing right in front of each other now and Dean just wanted to grab the lapels of Cas’ coat and drag him into an amazing kiss, but he knew he couldn’t do that. He so badly just wanted to lick the insides of Cas’ mouth and drive him crazy, but he knew he couldn’t do that.

So instead, he took a tiny step towards Cas, placing his right hand on Cas’ upper arm and tugged him closer. Then he put his other hand on Cas’ neck and leaned in slowly. He didn’t want to steal Cas’ first kiss so he stopped about an inch away from Cas’ face, waiting as they breathed each others’ air. He secretly prayed that he had good breath but before he thought too much, Cas closed the distance. He had slowly brought their lips together and put his arms around Dean’s waist, bringing him even closer.

The kiss was too chaste for Dean’s liking, but at the moment, he was lost anyway. Just kissing Cas at all was wonderful. Cas’ lips felt as chapped as they looked but they were also pretty soft. Dean started to move his lips slowly, wanting the kiss to go somewhere, hopefully to the bedroom. Cas started to move his lips along with Dean’s as they both deepened the kiss.

Dean opened his mouth and was planning on licking at Cas’ lips, when he heard footsteps. Footsteps meant someone was coming, which meant that they would see them kissing. So, Dean broke the kiss, pushing Cas away gently by his chest. Cas still had his eyes closed but slowly fluttered them open to look at Dean.

“Hey Cas! When did you get here? It’s a bit late isn’t it?" Said a feminine voice coming from the doorway.

‘Thank god we ended that kiss right in time.’ Dean thought.

“Hello Mrs. Winchester. I just got here about 10 minutes ago just to stop by.” Cas said almost too calmly as he turned around to look at her. 

Dean personally felt breathless and was glad he didn’t have to talk right now. ‘It wasn’t even that intense of a kiss, but Cas still somehow took my breath away.’ Dean thought, remembering the feel of Cas’ lips on his.

“I should be getting back home, though.” Cas said, and then turned to Dean. “Thank you for your advice and…help Dean. I’ll see you in school on Monday. Goodbye Mrs. Winchester.” And then he let himself out (the front door this time).

“Why was Cas here so late for…advice?” Mary asked Dean the minute she heard Cas close the front door.

“He and his father just got in a… confrontation and he needed to talk.”

“Hmmm.” Mary responded and left it at that.

Dean left and went up to his room, only to touch his lips, remembering the feel of Cas’ lips moving against his.

***

The weekend passed without a word from Cas, but that had become more normal since his father was so strict about them talking. When Monday came, the gang met at the Roadhouse as per usual and talked about random stuff from their weekends.

Dean and Cas stayed a bit later than everyone else and they talked about Cas’ date. Cas said that they had lunch and talked, and it was nice. She was a nice girl, but he didn’t like her that much. When they parted, they kissed, and it was okay, but it was just enough to pass for his father. Mr. Novak was proud of Cas, but Cas wasn’t.

However, neither of the boys brought up their own kiss. Neither of them talked about how it was the best kiss they’ve had, or that it felt perfect, or that they wished it could have continued. They just pretended that it never happened, even though they both wished that it would happen again.


	9. Thanksgiving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang is just trying to get through college stuff. Hopefully the holidays will go smoothly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Common App = Common Application. Most colleges use it as their application but not all of them  
> MIT=Massachusetts Institute of Technology (aka wicked sma’t school)  
> BU = Boston University (aka a university in Boston Mass)

Although they wish they could, they whole gang hasn’t been able to hang out a lot recently. They’ve all been drowning in the paper work for colleges, but by mid-November, they’re all mostly done. So, they took a needed day off at the Roadhouse.

“Ugh Common App stuff takes forever!” Jo groaned as she sat down at their usual table.

“At least that’s the only application you have to do! One of my colleges doesn’t use the Common App.” Dean said, and sarcastically adds, “Yay, more work.”

Cas chuckled which made Ash add, “Yeah, and we have Cas over here who’s only applying to two schools. He’s got no work.”

“Ash, you’re applying to one.” Jo said.

Ash just rolled his eyes. “MIT has already given me a scholarship if I go. So why would I ever apply anywhere else?”

“Well we can’t all be as smart as you.” Dean grumbled.

“Dean you are smart. You’ll get in to BU.” Cas said, smiling at Dean.

“Well, I guess yeah, but Ash doesn’t have to work at being smart. He just is!” 

The gang dissolved into a rather loud conversation about colleges and applications after that. Ellen had to come over and quiet them using her teacher voice.

After a couple hours passed, Jo had to go write her essay and Cas needed to get home to do a project, so the gang disbanded. Dean offered to drive home Cas, who graciously accepted.

“Hey Cas?”

“Yes Dean?”

“Are you doing anything for Thanksgiving? I know your family isn’t always the most… family-y… so my mom said I should invite you to our house if you wanted.”

“I don’t know Dean. My family does not really do a lot with Thanksgiving, but I don’t think my father would like me going to your house.” Cas replied, shifting in his seat. “But I might be able to sneak away or make up something.”

“Okay. You can always say you’re going to the Harvelle’s; Jo, and Ellen will gladly cover for you.” Dean said, smiling at the prospect of Cas celebrating Thanksgiving with him and his family.

“That might work. Thank you Dean.”

After some more, casual conversation, Dean dropped off Cas at his house and then went home to tell his parents to set and extra spot at the table for Thanksgiving.

***

On Thanksgiving Day, Dean waited impatiently to hear the doorbell ring, but he didn’t have to wait for long. However when he heard the bell ring at 11am he was already busy helping his mom cook, so his dad got the door.

“Hello Mr. Winchester.”

“Hey Cas. Glad you could make it, come in.” John closed the door behind Cas as he entered.

“Hey Cas.” Dean called from the kitchen, where he was peeling potatoes. “Is it raining out?” Dean asked, seeing a slightly wet Cas coming towards him.

“Yes. I didn’t get too wet though.” Cas replied, coming into the kitchen with John right behind him.

“Dear could you set the table?” Mary said to John, who replied with a quick ‘Sure’ and grabbed the plates.

“When are you eating?” Cas said, taking off his coat and draping it over a chair.

“In two hours. We like to eat before the game.” Dean answered as he finished peeling and started to cut up the potatoes.

“Which game?” Cas came over to Dean and picked up a nearby knife, helping Dean cut.

“The Patriots football game, Cas. Please tell me you know football.”

“No, sorry Dean.” 

Dean just sighed. “Well I guess I’ll have to teach you.” The rest of the cooking was filled with conversation between Mary, John, and Sam (who had slept in) and football talk between Dean and Cas. Dean told Cas the basics of the game and then the scoring and what would be a penalty or not. Cas was an attentive listener and asked questions whenever he needed to.

They ate at 1, and Dean and Sam tried not to kill each other. However, they did somehow start a mini food fight that Mary and John didn’t notice until Sam had a chuck of mashed potatoes in his hair and was about to fling some peas at Dean. John yelled at them, but Cas couldn’t help but laugh. He tried to stifle his laughter, but it was ineffective, and Mary joined him.

“My boys.” Mary laughed. She didn’t say anything else, but Cas figured she just meant ‘My boys are crazy but I love them anyway.’

After dinner, at around 2:45, they cleaned up the dishes, filling the dishwasher, and putting away the leftovers. When they were done, Sam grabbed a bag of chips from the pantry and John grabbed a couple beers for him and Mary, and they all sat down in time to catch the 3:30 kick-off.

Dean and Cas sat next to each other so Dean could tell Cas what was happening. Cas understood quite a bit of the game because of what Dean told him earlier, but there were still some penalties he didn’t get. 

The score was pretty close throughout the first quarter, but the Patriots demolished the Jet’s by the second quarter and ended up beating the Jets 49-19. No one was too surprised since the Patriots are a great team, but they were all thrilled because they don’t like the Jets almost as much as they like the Patriots (Massachusetts and New York have always had a rivalry). John and Dean were the most excited because they liked football the most, but they all celebrated with ice cream sundaes.

“That game was amazing! I mean the Pats interception, then the Jets fumble and that run! How many yards was that?” Dean cheered enthusiastically.

“83 yards!” John called, forgetting about the toppings he was putting on his ice cream.

“Yes! And we got 3 touchdowns in like 1 minute! The Jets sucked so much today!” Dean said through a mouthful of chocolate chip ice cream.

“Dean, manners.” Mary chastised, but didn’t sound too serious.

Dean and John went through all the highlights of the game while eating, leaving everyone else to either try and keep up with them, or talk about something else. So, Sam, Mary, and Cas ended up talking about school, but would still listen to the Dean and John every once and a while. 

***

It was about 6pm when Cas had to go. Dean was still pretty pumped from the game, but was sad that Cas had to go. Dean was about to say goodbye, when his mom spoke over him. 

“We loved having you Cas, you should come over for Christmas too, if you can.” Mary said sincerely.

“Thank you. And thank you for inviting me, but I can’t come over on Christmas. We always visit family over Christmas break and end up traveling a lot.”

“That’s fine then. Have fun though.” Mary smiled, and then left the boys alone at the front door.

“Thank you for having me Dean.”

“Anytime Cas.” Dean replied, smiling. He really wanted to give Cas a hug but wasn’t sure if that was appropriate right now.

“I had a great time.”

“Me too.” Dean figured Cas would turn around a leave after that, but he didn’t move. 

Cas seemed to contemplate something, shifting a bit awkwardly before saying, “Uh…tell your mom I though that dinner was delicious. It was great.”

“Sure thing, Cas.” Dean chuckled, and then he went for it, pulling Cas into a hug. He wrapped his arms around Cas’ shoulders, bringing him close. Cas put his hands around Dean’s waist. “See ya ‘round Cas.” Dean said, giving Cas a final squeeze before letting go.

“See ya ‘round Dean.” Cas replied, and then he turned and walked away, only to turn back to wave at Dean, who still hadn’t closed the door yet.

When Dean closed the door, Sam was standing a few feet away from him. He gave Dean a weird look.

“Oh shut up.” Dean told Sam, before heading upstairs to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. the Pats vs Jets game is a real game. It happened this past Thanksgiving. And yes the Patriots are that awesome. (not that I'm bias or anything)


	10. Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas break is full of little stories. tons of fluff. i warn you, there is a lot of fluff in this chapter! got some Sam/Jess too. please comment!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Thank you everyone who has stuck with me this long! I hope you really like it  Thank you for all your wonderful comments and favorites and everything. I just wanted to say that, after outlining it a bit more deeply, this should end up being 12 chapters total. I will add an epilogue (so I guess 13 chapters) but I might post it separately depending on how it…turns out…if you know what I mean… And I hope to do a separate one-shot from Cas’ point of view. I won’t tell you what chapter I’m doing it for, but expect it sometime after I’m done with the epilogue. Thank you!

The next month went by a lot calmer. After most applications had been sent out, everyone started to freak out less. Now it was just a waiting game.

Everyone had already started to make plans for over break, but Cas wouldn’t be able to go since he’d be away with his family. Therefore, they decided to swap gifts a couple days before Christmas, before Cas left. They all agreed to not get anything too expensive and just stay under 30 bucks.

Ash was ‘very’ creative and just gave everyone candy canes, but no one could deny pure sugary sweetness.

Cas ended up getting Dean a Tribble from Star Trek. Dean of course jumped with joy. The small puff ball would vibrate and make funny noises, and Dean couldn’t stop playing with it.

Dean got Cas a navy blue hat and gloves. “You were so cold last year I have to make sure you stay warm when you’re away” was all Dean said when Cas opened the gift. The hat and gloves almost perfectly matched Dean’s scarf that Cas still had from the winter before. Cas wondered if Dean did this on purpose, knowing Cas still had it, or if it was just coincidence. He hoped it was because Dean remembered, but he had never asked for the scarf back, so maybe he did forget.

When school finally ended, everyone was thrilled for vacation. Dean, Jo, Ash, Ava, Ron, and Bella promised to go sledding when they got enough snow. They were all tired of all the work they had been doing and just wanted time to hang out, but sadly, there had only been light dustings of snow. However, on the 23rd, they got their wish.

It was a good foot of snow, so the gang headed out to the woods on the outskirts of town where there was a hidden hill that was perfect for sledding. Practically no one knew about it, so it would be untouched and with no small children to dodge. And they could be as loud and crazy as they wanted to be without parents yelling at them.

So they waited until the roads were clear and drove out. The trails were a bit harder to find because of the untouched snow, but they trekked onwards, finding their hill.

Ash created a few jumps for fun and everyone tried them out. Of course, they were awesome. The sledding conditions were just perfect. Ava and Bella ended up making a couple great snowmen too, but Ron lost control of his sled and hit one of them, destroying it. Ava and Bella teamed up and started to throw snowballs at him in revenge, but the other boys had to help defend their fellow man. They joined in, boys versus girls, in a snowball battle on the hill and in the woods.

After a good fight, and the girls being as victorious as you can be in a snowball fight, they pilled into their respective cars and headed over to the Roadhouse for hot chocolate and hot food. They weren’t too loud so Ellen left them alone, but she would still remind them not to get too rowdy. Ellen was just glad to have all the kids around.

It was about 5pm when everyone headed home; they had to make it home for dinner or other family obligations. Christmas time was the time for family.

***

When Dean got home, he found Sam and Jess watching some Christmas movie in the TV room. They had remnants of wrapping paper from the gifts they got each other. Sam had got Jess a bracelet she wanted, and Jess got Sam some books. Sam appeared to really like them though so they must have been good. What a dork.

Mary was in the kitchen cooking Christmas cookies. Dean asked if she needed any help (helping with cookies meant also stealing dough!) but she said she was fine.

“But! There are some decorations that haven’t gone up yet. Why don’t you put those up for me. There is a box of garland that can be hung up in the living room. Just hand that up and then…actually I don’t think there’s anything else in that box…so just hang that up and we should be done.” Mary said as Dean was about to leave the room.

“You got it mom.” Dean replied. He headed to the living room, finding the box in question. He pulled out the shiny red garland that matched some that they hung on their tree a few days ago.

Dean wasn’t really the best when it came to decorating, but he thought he did pretty well. He put some on the railing for the stairs and some around the fireplace. When he looked in the box to see if there was any more, it was empty, except for a small green plant tied together at the end with a ribbon. Its white berries made it obvious what it was, so Dean formulated a plan. 

After some careful planning and placement, Dean called out, “Sam! Jess! Could you come here for a second? I need a second opinion on this!”

Dean heard Sam grumble, and then some shuffling, and the some footsteps. ‘Perfect.’ Dean thought as Sam and Jess entered the room.

“Come here. How does this look?”

“Really? You just wanted us to look at this?” Sam replied, annoyed.

“I think it looks great.” Jess said, trying to ignore Sam’s comment.

“Thank you, Jess.” Dean replied, emphasizing Jess’ name. “At least you have some manners.” Dean paused. “And speaking of manners and traditions and whatever, you should see my other decorating. You’ll never guess what I did to the ceiling.

Sam looked up and made a face. Jess just blushed. She look down, trying to use her long blonde hair to hide her face from Sam a bit, but it wasn’t working. Sam glanced from the mistletoe to Jess and back again until settling his eyes on Dean with a deathly stare. He seemed to try and say, “Jerk” and Dean just scoffed, making a face that seemed to say, “Bitch”.

Jess pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear and looked at Sam.

“It’s tradition.” Dean said as a slight push.

“He’s right.” Jess said quietly, but not shyly. 

Sam was a bit shocked by Jess’ comment but decided to just go for it before he lost any more courage. He grabbed her waist and gently tugged her into a simple kiss. Dean turned around to fiddle with some decorations so they could have some more privacy.

When he turned back around, the pair had parted, but Jess had put her arms up around Sam’s neck, and their foreheads were touching.

“So cute.” Dean teased as he ruffled Sam’s hair. He then left, going back into the kitchen, but not before calling out, “Finally!”

Dean heard Sam and Jess laugh before heading back into the TV room. In the kitchen, Mary gave Dean a bright smile, “Finally, indeed.” She said. “I figured they were already dating. But I guess my mother’s intuition isn’t always spot on. In this case, it was psychic.” She laughed a bit and tossed Dean a cookie cutter that was the shape of a Christmas tree. He helped her cut out cookies from the dough, but couldn’t help but notice that Sam and Jess now sat much closer together on the couch.

Sam had his arm around Jess’ shoulders and Jess was leaning on him. They were a cute couple. ‘And they better stay that way.’ Dean thought to himself as he turned his attention back to the cookies.

***

Christmas went by rather quickly. Both of the boys got quite a few presents, but they were mainly just excited about going skiing. Mary and John promised that, if they didn’t ask for too many gifts, they could go up to New Hampshire and stay at a ski resort for vacation.

Of course, the boys wanted to do that, do they packed their bags on Christmas, and left early in the morning on the 26th.

They haven’t gone skiing as a family, so Sam was taking lessons. He was still a bit awkward since he was still trying to grow into his limbs. Mary and John were great skiers so they went off having fun and doing moguls on the Black Diamonds. (*ski lingo will be defined at the bottom). Dean on the other hand, was ‘too cool’ to ski, so he went snowboarding. He had gone with the Harvelle’s every once and a while, so he was pretty good. He went off some jumps and did a few tricks, but nothing too special. Since he did try new tricks though, he ended up on the ground more often than he hoped.

After 2 long days of non-stop boarding for Dean, he was exhausted and ready for a day inside.

Sam had gone down to the pool with some friends he had made in his ski class, and Mary and John had gone out shopping to look at local ski stores.

So Dean had a nice quiet day in the hotel room. He ended up watching some random movie he found when he was flipping through channels. He missed the beginning but he got the two main points: they were at the Stonehenge and they were trying to stop the apocalypse.

However, as the day continued on, Dean realized he wasn’t just tired from snowboarding, but tired from a slight cold. His nose had been stuffed up since the day before, but he thought nothing of it. Now, his nose was a bit drippy, he had a headache, and could swear he had a fever.

He didn’t want his family to know though because if Mary and John found out, they wouldn’t let him go out on the slopes again.

So for the next couple of days, he struggled through his illness. But he only made it worse.

They celebrated New Years on the slopes and enjoyed watching the fireworks that were shot off from the peak of the mountain. But Mary knew that Dean had come down with a pretty bad cold.

She didn’t let him go back to school when it started up again on the 3rd.

“But mom, I’m fine!” Dean complained with a stuffed up nose.

“I said no. You are not going.” Dean did not mope. Or pout for that matter. But that’s exactly what he did. He just wanted to see his friends and hang out. He didn’t want to be stuck at home with nothing to do except be sick.

John dropped Sam off at school and then went off to work. Mary ended up taking some time off from her work so she could help nurse Dean, but she did still have to go out for a good portion of the day. So Dean was pretty much alone, but he didn’t want to be.

However, Sam did not come home by himself. Jo, Ash, and Cas came barreling through the front door armed with cans of chicken noodle soup and handfuls of movies.

“We made a stop at home to pick up some stuff for you.” Jo said as a greeting as they walked towards a sniffling Dean.

“We even brought tissues.” Ash said, dropping five tissue boxes in Dean’s lap.

“Thanks guys.” Dean replied, only partially sarcastically, as he moved the boxes from off of him.

“Well let’s get watching! What’s first?” Jo directed. They popped in Blazing Saddles and ate some soup. And when they were done with the movie and the soup, they sat around talking about their vacations. Well, Jo, Ash, and Dean did. Cas remained rather quiet during that conversation.

When they were done chatting, they watched Ten Inch Hero. Jo said it was a great movie and they just ‘had to watch it!’ So Cas made some hot chocolate, since he knew where everything was, and they sat down for another couple of hours.

Dean was pretty tired from being sick, so he leaned a bit on Cas, who was sitting to his left. Cas didn’t seem to mind. Dean relaxed even more against his shoulder and Cas put his arm up around Dean’s shoulders to keep him close. It almost reminded Dean of the year before. Dean was trying to keep Cas warm, but now Cas was trying to keep Dean comfortable. Almost the same situation, except they were reversed.

Dean definitely did not snuggle in closer to Cas. Cas noticed his squirming though and brought his hand up to feel Dean’s forehead.

“You’re still hot.” Cas spoke quietly, but with worry in his voice.

“Why thank you. It’s good to know that this sickness hasn’t made me any less attractive.” Dean replied smoothly, but tiredly.

Cas just gave Dean a look and took his hand away. He let Dean make himself comfortable against him again, and Dean soon fell asleep before the movie was even half over.

Dean doesn’t remember what happened after that, because obviously, he was asleep, but he does remember Jo and Ash leaving. Cas stuck around for a while. Dean was pretty sure that Cas even stayed for dinner while Dean was asleep.

Dean also vaguely remembers someone carrying him upstairs to his bed, and if he didn’t remember it, it happened anyway because that’s where he woke up. It couldn’t have been John, since he wasn’t home until late today. And Sam was too small to carry Dean. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but Dean hoped it was Cas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: SKI LINGO:  
> Mogul: A small hard mound or bump on a ski slope.  
> Black Diamond: Amongst the most difficult at a given mountain. Black Diamond trails tend to be steep and may or may not be groomed (groomed = to pack the snow and improve skiing and snowboarding and snowmobile trail conditions)


	11. This Year Will Be Easy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas are starting off college together. But will everything go as smoothly as their senior year did?

During January and throughout February, people had been hearing from their colleges that they applied to early. Everyone was getting into their top choices and Dean just had to sit there and wait and worry. He applied to his top choice, Boston University, at the regular deadline so he still had to wait another month until he heard back from them. Ash had already been accepted into MIT, and Cas had already given Emerson the down payment for tuition.

Cas and Ash were going to be in Boston. Dean just hoped he would get into BU so he could hang out with them. He had gotten into some of his safety schools, and they were good schools, but he did want to be near his friends. So he waited.

When March came around, so did the letter.

“Dean! You have a letter from BU here!” Dean heard John call from the kitchen. Dean rushed down the stairs, trying not to trip over himself in his haste.

“Where is it?” Dean said, trying not to sound excited or worried, but completely failing.

“Right here.” John handed the envelope over to Dean.

It was a small, regular sized envelope which just made Dean’s stomach sink. The acceptances he got from other schools had come in huge envelopes that could hold the acceptance letter without creasing it. Dean didn’t want to open it. The chance of it being a rejection seemed too high, but he opened it anyway.

He tore at the top of the envelope and took out the letter. He unfolded it and read the letter carefully.

He was quiet for a while. John had been watching for a reaction, but nothing came.

But then, he heard Dean softly speak. “I got in.” He sounded like he was in shock.

“I got it!” He yelled. “Dad I got in!” John smiled and patted Dean on the shoulder.

“Congratulations, son.”

When Mary came home with Sam from his doctor’s appointment, they went out for a celebratory dinner.

Dean texted all his friends telling him he got accepted, and everyone was excited for him. 

After Dean got his letter, the year whizzed by. All that was left were AP tests and finales, and then they would graduate.

***

The seniors had fun messing around before they had to leave. Graduation was long and boring, but Ash snuck a couple of deflated beach balls under his graduation gown so they could blow them up and toss them around during the boring speeches. They got away with it at first, but then one of the strict teachers caught the balls and popped them.

The speeches were pretty good though; they weren’t too dull. But, it wasn’t as emotional as Dean thought it would be. However, he wouldn’t be going too far from home, and he would still be with friends.

He was going to share an apartment with Cas that was between their schools so they could cut down on housing costs. Ash was going to be living close by at MIT, and they could hang out whenever.

Either way, even though high school was over, there was still had tons of fun to be had.

Dean hung out at Bobby’s salvage yard, working on cars. Dean didn’t get paid but he still enjoyed it. 

Dean and Ash would hit the town and cause mayhem, and sometimes they would drag Cas around with them. Cas got really go at sneaking out of the house to hang out with them. 

Cas had not only gotten better at sneaking out, but he was also pretty good at covering for himself if they did catch him. When they went out though, he would never be as reckless as Ash and Dean. However, Ash and Dean did still joke about how Cas was such a rebel in his family. Cas would just smile and go along with them.

Other days, Jo and Cas would hang out. They were not the closest of friends, but they got along well. Cas even brought up Charlie. He never said he had gone to a straight-camp, but he did mention Charlie, his “regular” camp friend. Cas always thought that Jo and Charlie would get along well.

But sadly, summer went by rather quickly. When they weren’t hanging out, they were buying last minute supplies and slowly packing up their stuff for their dorms or apartments.

Ash left earlier than Dean and Cas. His orientation started a few days before theirs. Dean and Cas did end up heading down to their small shared apartment a couple days after Ash had left. They threw their things in the back of the impala, and whatever couldn’t fit in the truck or back seat, went in the Winchesters’ other car. John, Mary, and Sam were going down with them to help them move in. 

It was an older building, but the apartment was nice. It wasn’t perfect though. It was old. Some of the paint was chipping and the windows were probably the originals from the early 1900s, if not earlier, but it was great. The front door opened up into a kitchen/ living room area. The kitchen was on one side, but there was no table, yet. There was a small couch on the other side that was angled away from the kitchen and towards an empty wall where they would put the TV.

The bathroom was just past the kitchen, and then a little bit further were two small rooms. It was no debate who would get which one; they agreed rather quickly.

When the day came to a close, and they were pretty much done with unpacking, Mary, John, and Sam left, and in a couple days, classes would start.

***

When classes first started, Dean and Cas didn’t see too much of each other. They had similar schedules but they wouldn’t always be home at the same time. After the first month though, they got into the swing of college and city life.

Cas had even joined the Emerson quidditch team. He was a pretty fast runner, so they made him a seeker. When he went to practices on the weekends, Dean would make fun of him. But then one day, Dean saw a flyer for the BU quidditch team, and he joined as a beater. Cas of coursed lightly teased him about this.

“So, I see you’re a, what did you say, a giant dork with no life, now too?” Cas said as he tied up his sneakers.

“Doesn’t matter. I’m awesome. And I’m a beater, so I’ve got the cool position. We’re totally going to cream your team next week.”

“You know nothing of quidditch, Dean. I don’t think you will do as good as you think you will.” Cas said, standing and heading towards the door. “Well I’m going for a run, do you want to come? Or are you too awesome?”

“Whatever.” Dean replied, as Cas grabbed his key and headed out. “I’ll totally beat you next week in the match.” Dean grumbled at the closed door.

***

The next week, both boys woke up a bit early so they could get ready for the match. Both teams would meet at the Common, so Dean and Cas were planning on heading over together.

“Come on, Cas. Don’t wanna be late do ya?” Dean called, ready to go.

Cas came out of his room wrapping up his wrist. Dean gave him a worried look. “It’s just for precaution.” Cas replied to the unasked question.

The boys hopped on the T (aka the Boston train/subway) in their gear still squabbling about who will win the game.

“Really, Cas? You really think that being a seeker is that hard? You just run after the snitch. Big deal.”

“Yes Dean, because the snitch runs so slowly.” Cas said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

“Well it’s not like you can do much else but run. Look at you. You’re tiny.” Dean said, poking at Cas.

“Really Dean? I’m almost six feet tall. I’m not tiny.” Cas replied defensively.

“Yeah, but you’re shorter than me.” Dean boasted triumphantly. Cas just shoved him in the shoulder. Dean shoved back, a bit harder, and then grabbed Cas into a headlock. “If you weren’t shorter than me I couldn’t do this!” Dean said as he ruffled Cas’ hair, and then released him.

“Really Dean. Are you five?” Cas grumbled as he tried to fix his hair in the reflection of the subway car’s window.

“Only sometimes.” Dean replied with a stupid smile on his face. Cas just rolled his eyes again.

However, both boys stopped their quarrel when they overheard two elderly ladies whispering to each other.

“Yes, they are cute aren’t they.” Said one of the women.

“Shh, I think they can hear us.” Said the other.

“Oh please, they probably get it a lot.”

“It doesn’t matter, you shouldn’t bother couples when they’re out on a date.”

At hearing this, both guys blushed and looked anywhere but at each other. They tried to ignore it, but now that they heard it, they couldn’t brush it off. 

The rest of the subway ride was a bit awkward, but when they got the field, it didn’t matter anymore. 

They went to their respective teams and prepared for the match.

The match seemed to go by pretty quickly but it was about 40 minutes long. And Emerson won by 20 points.

Cas of course wouldn’t let Dean live it down.

“Who said that there was no way that I could beat them?” Cas bragged on the trip home.

“Well…just because your team is better than mine, doesn’t mean I’m not better than you, so…yeah…”

“Great argument, Dean.” Cas smiled.

“Fine. Why don’t we change and then head out to a club to celebrate then?” Dean said as they entered their apartment building.

“Oh…I think I’m good, but thank you.” Cas replied, fiddling with his keys. 

“Come on Cas! We gotta celebrate, and what’s a better way than with booze, women, and music?”

“Dean. I don’t want to go to a club.”

“No fun! You have to go. Beer’s on me.” Dean said trying to entice Cas to come, as Cas unlocked their door.

“Fine. Fine I’ll go, but I won’t like it.”

“Yeah you will.” Dean smirked as he headed off to change out of his quidditch gear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: yes some buildings in Boston are that old. My sister has an apartment in Boston and I’m pretty sure that it does have the original windows from the early 1900s or earlier.  
> Boston Subway is called the T  
> Boston Common is here: https://maps.google.com/maps?q=boston%20common&aq=f&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hl=en&sa=N&tab=wl and the field for quidditch it between the baseball field and tennis courts if you’re wondering (yes BU and Emerson have their matches there)


	12. What Happened?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas head out to a bar that gives them a little drama. But it's what happens the next day that's really important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possible trigger warning?: abuse is mentioned

It wasn’t very dark even though it was nighttime. All the lights from stores and buildings and clubs lit up the streets as they made their way to their destination.

“Dean, how will we be able to get in? We aren’t 21.” Cas said, worried about where Dean was taking him.

“Dude, it’s fine. Ash made me these for us.” Dean replied, pulling out two fake IDs from his wallet that had their pictures on them. “I asked him to make us some before he left for college. He was making one for himself anyway, so I figured we should have some fun too.” Dean smirked at Cas who hesitantly took the ID that Dean held out for him.

“Where are we going anyway?”

“The Alley. Don’t worry, you’ll like it.” That was all Dean said before they go to the club itself. That’s when Cas realized, it was a gay bar.

“Dean, this is a gay bar.”

“Yes, Cas, that’s why I picked it.”

“Oh. Okay.” Cas looked a bit more nervous.

“I figured the first club you go to should be…you know…” Dean didn’t finish his sentence, hoping that Cas would understand. It didn’t look like Cas did, but he didn’t question Dean any further.

They got into the club easily with their very authentic looking IDs and ordered a couple drinks from the bar. 

After a few drinks, Dean was feeling buzzed and Cas looked like he was loosening up.

“Cas, are you even buzzed yet?” Dean said with a slight slur in his speech.

“I do feel a bit….buzzed yes.” Cas said practically perfectly.

“You must ‘ave the tolerance of Legolas or somethin’. Lemme order another round.” Dean said before heading back to the bar to grab two more beers.

Cas wanted to ask who Legolas was, but Dean left before he could ask. He looked down at his almost empty beer, and drank the last dregs of it. When he put the glass back down, someone was standing in front of him, and it wasn’t Dean.

“Hey there, what’s your name?” The stranger said, sitting down across from Cas in Dean’s spot.

Cas was too stunned to reply, so the stranger continued on.

“I’m Gordon and you’re sexy. You wanna drink?” The stranger, Gordon, said, eyeing Cas’ empty glass.

“Uh, no I’m fine, I…” Cas tried to say, but Gordon cut him off.

“You here with someone? ‘Cause I was wondering if you wanted to leave with someone.” Gordon said, winking suggestively.

“No thank you. I’m fine.” Cas deadpanned. He just wanted the guy to leave.

“Are you sure?” Gordon continued, placing his hand on Cas’ knee under the table.

Dean turned around from the bar with a beer in each hand, and saw Cas talking to some stranger. “What the…” Dean mumbled to himself. Cas did not look comfortable. Dean was about ready to go over there to save Cas from the perv and almost put down the beers. But then he saw Cas lean forward and punch the guy across the face. “What the!” Dean said, now surprised and worried. He rushed over to Cas after putting down the drinks. The people around them were watching the scene unfold.

“What happened?” Dean asked, watching the creep walk away with a look of anger on his face, but his tail between his legs.

“He was…coming on to me and wouldn’t take no for an answer. So, I took care of it.” Cas looked almost proud of himself, but also a little sheepish.

“Okay…so, is your hand okay?” Dean asked.

“Yeah. Yeah it’s fine.” Cas said, stretching his fingers out a bit. “So where’s the beer?”

“Huh? Oh! Yeah, hold on.” Dean went back to get some new beers, because he was unsure where he put the last ones in his haste.

The rest of the night went by without anymore interruptions, and the stagger home wasn’t so bad. Cas apparently can’t get drunk, so he ended up helping Dean up the stairs back to the apartment.

***

“Urgh” Dean groaned as he woke up. He blinked his eyes open, trying to make them adjust to the light of the room. It wasn’t took bright out outside thankfully because of the heavy rain pouring down. “Musta woke me up.” Dean mumbled to himself, thinking of the rain. He rubbed his head a bit to help soothe his headache from his hangover. He grumbled to himself as he went about his usual routine to wake up.

After using the bathroom and brushing his teeth, he noticed that the clock only read 9am. Dean groaned again. ‘Why did I have to wake up so early? I don’t even have any classes today. The world hates me.’ 

He shuffled over to the kitchen and pulled out some bacon and pancake mix. Nothing like a good, greasy breakfast to help a hangover.

‘And speaking of hangovers, where is Cas?’ Dean was sure that Cas didn’t have any classes this morning either, so he must still be asleep. He went to Cas’ door and knocked softly. There was no reply, so Dean opened the door slowly, only to be met by a dark room. He turned on the light and saw the blankets shift.

“Come on Cas. It’s not like you even drank that much. I know you don’t like to sleep in and I’m making some breakfast to help if you want any.” Dean said, approaching the mass of blankets that was Cas. 

Cas just groaned in complaint.

Dean poked at Cas a little, trying to rouse him. Cas just turned away and hid under his blankets more.

“But Caaaaaas, baaaaacoooon.” Dean said, trying to entice Cas to get up. 

There was a moment of silence and then finally Cas replied, “Fine. Just let me shower first.”

“Okay.” Dean said, leaving Cas who was slowly coming out of his cocoon.

Cas took a quick shower and finished before Dean was even done with the bacon, but even though Dean had heard the water turn off, Cas hadn’t actually come out of the bathroom yet.

Dean thought nothing of it, until he was finished with the bacon and had already made a bunch of pancakes. Now he was a little worried. ‘Cas hadn’t slipped and fallen had he?’

Dean knocked on the bathroom door. “You okay Cas? Hangover really hitting you?” Dean tried to joke.

“…Uh, yeah.”

“You sick? Do you want something? Water maybe?” Dean said, worried.

“No, no. I’m fine.”

“You don’t sound fine.”

“Well yeah.”

“…..Care to elaborate?”

“No.”

“Well Cas that isn’t very helpful.”

“Yeah.”

Dean didn’t think he was going to get anymore out of Cas at the moment. But he couldn’t help but think what was wrong with Cas.

“Well, if it helps, the bacon is done.”

“It does not, but thank you.”

“Okay, what’s wrong Cas. I’m letting you leave until you tell me.”

“Well I’m not going to come out unless you leave anyway so it appears we have reached an impasse.”

“Come on Cas. You can tell me anything. What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing. But if you want to help…” Cas paused and Dean nodded in confirmation but then realized that Cas couldn’t see him through the door. But Cas continued before Dean could say anything. “You could lend me a shirt for a second.”

“A shirt? That’s all you need? What, are you self conscious? It’s just me Cas, you’ve been shirtless in front of me before.”

“Yes Dean.”

Dean wasn’t sure what question that ‘yes’ was supposed to answer, but he went and grabbed a grey t-shirt out of his drawer to give to Cas. He cracked the door open to hand it over and Cas took it, who then came out a moment later.

Cas was only wearing a towel and t-shirt now. Dean was just confused so he stopped Cas from going to his room.

“Okay, so what’s the real problem here? You are not self conscious, at least not that I know of.”

“Drop it, Dean.” Cas said, not looking at Dean, but still sounding serious.

“But Cas…”

“I said drop it.” Cas almost yelled with an air of finality. He pushed past Dean but Dean grabbed his arm.

“No. Cas, are you okay?”

Cas just pulled away from his grip and headed into his room closing the door.

Dean went back to cooking and was thankful that he hadn’t left anything in the pan that was still on the stove. He went back to making some pancakes but couldn’t get Cas off his mind. 

Cas came back out of his room, fully clothed, and sat down at the table in front of a plate of pancakes. He grabbed some of the bacon as Dean sat down across from him.

They ate without really talking. The exchanged the usual ‘sleep well?’ ‘have any classes today?’, just small talk stuff. Cas put their plates in the sink when they were done and started washing them.

Dean went over to Cas and leaned against the counter, next to him.

“Talk to me.”

“Dean.” Cas paused. Dean kept his expectations low on whether or not Cas would actually tell him anything, but Cas continued on, slowly. “Before I was at that camp,” Cas paused again and stopped washing the dishes, “my father was very angry with me. We got in fights every day and he would blame me for everything that went wrong and sometimes he would blame you for making me gay or something. It was horrible and it only got worse. Before he sent me to that camp, he beat me and now I have scars all down my back. You may have seen me shirtless Dean, but it was either before it happened or at night in the dark. I tried so hard to hide it from you because I knew you would feel guilty or do something brash.” 

Cas took a deep breath, like he was about to say something even more shocking, and then added, with more celerity, “So yes, I have been hiding this from you but I didn’t know what you would do. And I couldn’t lose you. Just the thought of you would help me get through a day at that camp. I felt horrible and I kept your scarf with me a lot because it reminded me of you. I just couldn’t lose you. You’re my best friend and I love you. I always have. Since the snowy day you picked me up in you car. I love you, Dean Winchester.”

With the last statement, Cas grabbed his jacket from off of its hook, and quickly left, leaving Dean in stunned silence.

Dean stood there agape, trying to take in everything that Cas just told him. Cas was beaten by his father. Cas had scars from the beatings. Cas never told him. Cas loves him. 

Dean didn’t know what to do, but he did know that he had to talk to Cas. He swiftly ran back to his room, grabbing his jacket, keys, and phone, and then ran out, hoping he could catch Cas.

He ran outside having completely forgotten the rain and was getting drenched. He looked around praying that Cas hadn’t disappeared through the downpour. He soon saw Cas’ familiar tan coat and ran after him.

‘I just hope no one else happens to be wearing a tan trench coat today.’ Dean thought as he vigorously ran after the trench coated man. He grabbed the guy by the shoulders and was thankful to see that it was Cas.

They looked at each other for a moment without saying anything.

Dean broke the silence first and tentatively said, “Where are you going?”

Cas was a bit taken aback by the innocent question but replied anyway. “I don’t know.”

“Then don’t go.” Dean tightened his grip on Cas’ shoulder a bit and the brought him into a tight hug. 

They hugged for quite a while, letting the rain soak them through. When they did pull back, Dean didn’t let Cas get too far away, and pulled him in to a proper kiss. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas, pulling him in closer and ran one of his hands through Cas’ soaking wet hair.

Cas tightened his grip on Dean’s waist and soon moved his hands to his hips. Cas licked at Dean’s lips, begging for more, and Dean immediately gave it to him.

Their tongues danced around each other, trying to taste every bit of the other’s mouth. It was a bit messy, and probably had too much teeth, but they didn’t care.

When they pulled away, they leaned their foreheads together. They shared a look and then burst into laughter. They stepped a tiny bit farther away from each other when they realized they were in a public street, but still kept their arms around the other.

“So I take it that you like me too huh?” Cas asked, fiddling with the hem of Dean’s shirt.

“You? No way.” Dean joked light heartedly and pulled Cas in by his coat collar, pecking him quickly on the lips.

“I thought you would hate me or something.” Cas said, looking awkwardly down at his feet.

“For what?” Dean asked, genuinely confused.

“For…well…for one: for liking you because I didn’t think that you reciprocated my feelings, two: because I lied to you, and three: because I have….scars…now.”

“One: you are amazing. How could I not like you? Two: I understand why you lied, I think it was a stupid thing to lie about, how could that make me hate you, but still I understand. Just don’t do it again. And three: do you really think that I would hate you for having scars? Scars are not ugly and won’t make me hate you. Those scars show how you survived your father’s abuse. Those scars are beautiful. I would rather have you with scars than to not have you at all.”

Cas just looked at Dean in amazement. He really didn’t know how to reply besides grabbing Dean’s face and pulling him in for another quick kiss.

“Thank you, Dean.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Now let’s go in and dry off.” Cas said, taking Dean’s hand in his and then tugging it, leading them back to their apartment.

Dean just nodded in agreement. However, they were almost inside when Dean stopped.

Cas turned to look at him with a confused face and a tilt to his head.

“So, you’ve really loved me this whole time?”

“Pretty much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: yes The Alley is a real gay bar in Boston (ah the wonders of google)  
> And yes this is the end (technically). I will soon add an epilogue to this and then I’ll upload a oneshot from Cas’ point of view! So it’s not really over…  
> Anywho, I really appreciate all the wonderful comments and messages and favorites and everything. You guys have been just too kind to me! This fic was never supposed to be this long, but I’m pretty proud of how it turned out, and you guys really cheered me on with such kind comments!! Thank you so much!


	13. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue (4 years later)

“Hey Cas?”

“Yeah?”

“Wanna go to out for dinner on Saturday?

“Why?

“Just to change it up a bit. I mean we haven’t really gone out anywhere in a while and I want to take you somewhere nice.”

“Sounds good. Well I have to get to work so we can talk later, okay?”

“Okay. See you later.” Dean kissed Cas goodbye as Cas left for work. Dean still had an hour before he would be needed at the garage.

So, he spent that hour panicking. Cas agreed. Now he just had one more thing to do before Saturday came, and it was going to be the hard. It was only Monday though, so he had some time. 

When he went into work, he decided to ask his boss for Friday off, which his boss agreed to. Dean had never taken a day off before so his boss didn’t mind that much.

***

On Friday, Cas left for work as per usual, and Dean left only a few minutes later to go visit his parents. It was an hour drive and he wanted to leave as early as possible so he would make sure that he would get home before Cas did. If he didn’t Cas might question him since Dean always got home before Cas.

It was a drive he hadn’t taken in a while. The last time he saw his parents was at graduation which was a couple months ago. But he hadn’t been back to their old house in almost a year.

When he got there, everything looked the same. The house looked the same. The garden looked the same. The neighborhood looked the same.

Dean unlocked the door with his old house key and called out, “Mom? Dad? You here?”

“Kitchen Dean!” Came his mom’s voice.

Dean walked into the kitchen to see his mother writing out something. Looked like she was budgeting or doing taxes or something.

“Whatcha doing?” Dean said, pulling up a chair.

“Just some budgeting. Sam is going off to Stanford and we need to make sure we’ll have enough money for everything.”

“But didn’t he get full-ride?” Dean asked curiously.

“Well yes, but still there are plain tickets to buy and all his stuff to move, and we need to make sure he’ll be okay over there. California is so far away.”

Dean could tell his mother was worrying. Her youngest son was leaving and going very far away, of course she was worrying.

“He’ll be fine mom. He’s a smart kid.” Dean reassured her and was answered with a warm smile.

“So what are you doing home on this random summer day?” Mary gave him a look like she knew he was up to something.

“Well….I…uh…is dad home?”

“Don’t ignore my question mister.” Mary scolded.

“I’m not! I just need to know.”

“No he’s not.” Mary said, looking at the clock. “But he will be home in about 10 minutes. He went out for a quick grocery run this morning.”

While they waited for John to return, Mary questioned Dean relentlessly about what he had been doing since graduation and how Cas was doing and how the apartment was and the questions just didn’t stop.

Thankfully, Dean didn’t have to wait too long until his dad came home and saved him from the interrogation.

“Dean! How ya doin’ son?”

“I’m good dad.” Dean replied, happy to see his dad.

“What are you doing here?” John asked, putting some plastic bags down on the counter.

“That’s what I want to know.” Mary said, staring at Dean.

“Well, I need to ask you something, and I wanted both of you to be here.” Dean took a breath for courage. “I was wondering…if I…could have your parent’s old rings.” Dean finished, motioning to his dad.

“Their rings?” John repeated, looking to Mary with a smile. “May I ask why?”

“I...uh…want to ask Cas to marry me.” Dean said, fidgeting and looking down at his hands.

Mary beamed and stood up. She rushed around the table to Dean and pulled him into her arms. She kissed his head. “Oh finally!” she cheered.

“Good choice Dean.” John said proudly. “I’m proud of you boy.”

Dean couldn’t stop smiling. “Yeah well.”

“I’ll go get the rings for you dear.” Mary said, and left to head upstairs.

John patted Dean on the back. “We are so happy for you Dean.”

“Yeah I couldn’t tell.” Dean said sarcastically.

“Hey, we’ve been waiting for a while for this. What’s it been? 6 years?”

“We only met 6 years ago.” 

“Yeah but we both could tell that there was something about you two. And if I could tell, it was pretty obvious.”

As John finished, Mary came back into the kitchen holding a small ring box. “Here you go.” She said, handing over the small red box.

“Thanks mom.” Dean replied. Mary and John could not stop smiling at him, but they were snapped out of the moment when a tired looking Sam sporting bed head came into the kitchen. They all looked surprised to see him.

“What’s happening? Why’s Dean here?” Sam questioned in his sleeping state.

“Uh…” Mary tried to speak, but she wasn’t sure what to say. And she didn’t know if Dean wanted Sam to know just yet.

“Just came to pick up something. Don’t worry about it Sammy.” Dean covered. It technically wasn’t a lie; it just wasn’t the whole truth. A lawyer like Sam could understand that. 

“Huh, okay.” Sam accepted the lie. “Why are you two so smiley this morning?” He asked, looking at his parents.

“No reason. Just a good day.” John said.

“Well, I better be off. Still got a bunch of stuff to do today.”

“Okay, see ya later Dean.” Sam said.

“Bye son.” John said, patting Dean on the back again.

Mary hugged Dean tightly, but before letting him go she quietly asked, “When?”

Dean answered, just as quietly, “Tomorrow. I’ll tell you on Sunday okay?”

Mary nodded, and then Dean left.

Dean had one more stop to make before he went back home though.

He drove for a couple minutes through his old neighborhood until he pulled up to a familiar house. He parked by the curb and headed to the door.

He reached hesitantly for the doorbell and waited anxiously.

A familiar red-head answered the door.

“Dean? What are you doing here? You know Cas isn’t here right?” Anna joked.

“I know Anna. I was actually wondering if I could talk to your dad.” Dean surprised himself with how calmly he asked.

“Yeah… he’s in his office.” Anna spoke slowly, unsure of what Dean was really asking for.

“Thanks…Could you tell me where that is?” Dean asked, just realizing that he had never really been in Cas’ house before. When he hung out with Cas, it had always been at the Roadhouse, or his house, or anywhere but Cas’ house. ‘Oh right! Mr. Novak hated me. That’s why I’ve never come over before.’ Dean thought to himself as Anna directed him to the right room.

Dean was about the knock but he stopped himself. ‘Mr. Novak hated me. Mr. Novak hated me. Mr. Novak hated me.’ Dean couldn’t stop himself from repeated this thought in his head. ‘Mr. Novak hated me and thinks that his son is straight, and I’m about to ask him if I can marry his son.’ Dean didn’t know what to do, but he could feel Anna’s presence still by his side. If he stood there much longer, she would probably start asking questions.

So, he took a deep breath, and decided that it was too late to turn back now, and he knocked on the door.

“Come on.” Said a deep voice from the other side of the door.

Dean swallowed hard and opened the door.

Mr. Novak was sitting behind a large desk looking at a computer with papers spread over his desk. The room was bright and warm with the sun coming through the windows.

Dean closed the door behind him and approached the daunting figure.

“Who are you?” Mr. Novak said, moving his gaze to Dean.

“Hello sir. I’m Dean Winchester. I don’t know if you rem-”

“I remember you boy.” Mr. Novak cut him off. He continued, spitting out his words. “You are that gay boy that tried to destroy my son a long time ago. Well let me tell you, he is fixed. Now leave.” Mr. Novak returned to his work.

“No.” Dean said quietly, but his courage grew and he repeated himself, louder. “No.”

“What did you just say?” Mr. Novak asked, returning his attention to Dean.

“I came here for a reason. I will not let you ignore me.” Dean took a deep breath. “I was going to ask you if I could marry your son,” Dean saw Mr. Novak’s face fall and become distorted. “But instead, I am going to tell you that I am going to ask him if I can marry him. Your son is gay, and we have been dating for 4 years now. I am going to ask him to marry me, and I don’t care what you say.”

Mr. Novak sat there, stunned. Dean didn’t wait for a reply and he just left.

On the drive back to Boston, Dean was shaking with the thought that he just yelled at the man who hurt Cas. And he felt great.

***

On Saturday, Dean and Cas dressed up and headed out to a nice restaurant. They had a beautiful dinner and dessert.

On the drive home, Cas realized that Dean took a wrong turn.

“Dean are you lost?” Cas worriedly asked. “You never get lost. The turn was back there.”

“I know.” Was all Dean said as he continued driving.

He drove by memory through back roads, so that Cas wouldn’t recognize where he was being taken.

“Dean are you going to take me to the middle of the woods somewhere and murder me?” Cas joked.

“Maybe.” Dean said completely serious.

“Of course.” Cas said, looking out the window, trying to place where they were going.

After about an hour of driving, Dean pulled into a park and stopped his engine. There was a beautiful pond not to far from where they stopped.

“Cas go stand by the hood for a second.” Dean ordered. Cas got out and did what was told.

Dean sat for a moment, taking a deep breath. He took out a tape from his jacket and popped it into the player in the car. He turned the car back on hit play. The song played out and Cas could hear it through the open passenger and driver doors.

Dean got out and stood by Cas as L-O-V-E by Nat King Cole played over the sounds of the pond.

“Do you remember this spot?” Dean asked, leaning against the hood of the impala.

Cas copied him and replied, “Um…ye…yes! This is the pond we almost went swimming in until that cop came after us!”

“Yeah.” Dean said, looking at Cas as Cas looked across the beautifully lit pond.

“It’s amazing.” Cas said, still looking out. 

Dean took this opportunity to get out the small red box from his jacket.

“I like the song by the way.” Cas smiled, finally looking back at Dean. But Dean was no longer standing. Dean was down on one knee, holding a small box with two rings in it.

Cas was stunned into silence.

“Cas, will you marry me?” Dean said. His hand that was holding the box started shaking, so he brought up his other hand. But the shaking didn’t stop. 

“Dean…Dean…”

Dean was getting more nervous. ‘Was it really that hard to say yes or no?’ Dean thought to himself.

“Oh Dean, yes! Of course!” Cas said breathlessly.

“Really?” Dean smiled.

“Yes! That’s why I said yes!” Cas said, pulling Dean up into a hug.

Dean pulled away only to take out one of the rings in the box and slid it onto Cas’ finger.

“Oh thank god it fits.” Dean said, releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Where did you come up with the size? I don’t wear rings.” Cas stated.

“Oh I didn’t. These rings were my grandparents’.”

“Really? Dean that’s…” Cas played with the ring on his finger a bit. “Dean I can’t wear this. It’s…”

“No Cas. It was meant for you. And my parent’s wouldn’t have given them to me if they didn’t want you to wear it.” Dean answered.

“Oh…well…wait. When did your parents give you these?” Cas asked, as Dean handed him the box so Cas could look at the other ring.

“I visited them yesterday to ask for them.” Dean said. “Oh and I visited your father.” Cas looked up at that. “I was going to ask him for your hand, but I ended up just telling him that I was going to ask you. He didn’t look to happy about it, but at least he knows.”

“Dean. Dean you are amazing.” Cas said, taking out the other ring from the box and held it out to Dean.

“It’s too small.” Dean said. “I tried it yesterday, but I can get it re-sized.”

“Okay.” Cas smiled. Dean took the ring anyway. He undid the chain on his necklace and added the ring. It fell around his neck with the charm that was originally there. “Looks good.” Cas said.

“Yeah.”

Cas pulled Dean in by the lapels of his jacket, and kissed him. Dean was slightly surprised, but melted into the kiss; He brought his arms up around Cas’ waist.

They kissed for a while until they heard the song end. The next song that started to play was Marry You by Bruno Mars.

“Bruno Mars? Dean you hate Bruno Mars. Why is it playing?” Cas asked chuckling, not pulling away from Dean.

“Because Cas, you like him. And I thought it fit the moment.” Dean smiled and kissed Cas again.

“You’re so cute Dean.”

“Yeah I know.” Cas smiled and kissed him again.

***

The park was always a good place to patrol. There were always teenagers messing around. Either they would hide in park when it was closed and do…things…, or try and swim in the pond at night. But it was actually very rare that anything happened.

Mark always took the night shift at the park. He had for about 5 years now. It wasn’t often that he would catch some teens doing things, but he was just thankful for some peaceful time by himself.

It was a quiet night until he heard the song L-O-V-E softly in the distance. 

“Sound’s like it’s coming from the pond.” He said to himself. He headed over there, but he was in no rush.

When he got there, he was not very far from the perpetrators. They had parked their (very nice) car and were playing the song through the car speakers.

That’s when he realized, it was a marriage proposal. He couldn’t break that up. He did wait and see if the girl said yes though.

He moved a bit to see better and realized that it was two guys. He didn’t really care though. ‘It’s Massachusetts; they can do whatever they want.’ He thought to himself as he saw them hug. ‘Obviously he said yes. Cute.’

He was about to leave the pair alone, but he overheard them talking by accident. He didn’t mean to hear them but he over heard their names, Dean and Cas.

Dean and Cas. Now where had he heard those names before? ‘Dean and Cas’ he thought to himself. He looked across the pond in thought, and that’s when it hit him.

A few years ago, when he was on shift, there was a pair of boys trying to swim in the pond at night. He heard them call each other Dean and Cas. He only remembered because he thought that Cas was a very strange name for a boy, or for anyone really.

‘Wow, after all this time, these boys are still together and now they’re engaged. That’s quite amazing that I got to see them again and this is what happens.’

Mark smiled to himself as he quietly left them alone. He looked down his own ring on his finger. He couldn’t wait to tell his wife this story. 

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: I hope you like the ending guys! I didn’t mean for it to get this long but the characters kind of got away from me! Oh well!  
> So this is the end, but I will add a separate one shot from Cas’ point of view. Hint: it will be about his Christmas!  
> Thank you guys so much for your love (and comments!)


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